Man Trouble

[Dear Abi]

This is from a member that chooses to remain anonymous

As usual the same thing every girl, i know has.
well mine is, i met this guy online. and we exchanged ims,pms, sms,calls etc. He lives in the US and i live in Naija, i've never been keen on longdistance relationships so i never really took things seriously.Until he started professing his undying love for me and all that. Yet he told he was already engaged to someone else.
well maybe because he sounded very convincing about how much he loved me, i fell in love with him too. He acted like someone in love too.
So he came to Naija for about two weeks, we together practicall the whole time he was around, he even flew with me all the way to abuja, where i went to do some work. He never mentioned anything about making any commitments or even about coming back to see me again. when he went back i cried my eyes out, i was miserable for weeks on end. before he came to naija, he used to call me about 3 times a day,but since he left we've spoken only twice and on one of the occassions, i called him.
so my question is, would it be wrong for me to forget about him? He even came to my house to meet my folks when i didn't invite him. The truth is that i'm actually confused about what next to do.

[Dear Abi]

Dear Anonymous,

Online relationship is a risk. However, life itself is a risk too. No one can live his/her life risk-free, especially in the areas of love and relationship. But getting down to the brass track, in this situation a couple of things might have happened.

First, you met and he wasn't feeling you the way he thought felt you online and/or over the phone. People, men and women, are very fickle. And sometimes pictures don't tell all the story, you know.

Secondly, (and this I think is the most likely scenario) the guy was in it for the booty. From your story, this dude strikes me as a predator. And unfortunately, there are many users and losers out there - both online and offline. We call them the "hit it and quit it" kinda guys. Hence, he hits it and doesn't need you any more. He's probably on the prowl for another gullible girl he'll use and dump - vicious cycle. The fact that he was already engaged to someone else before you met should've raised the red flag.

Bottom line, you gotta forget this guy and move on with your life. Either way, he isn't worth your tears. There are better men out there for you. So keep your chin up sister and stride on. And I'll be praying for you too.

[Baba Iyanu]

why u no get belle for am, u sabi say u fit born so..two weeks and u no fit show say u love am too...abi u don do plenti termination, di womb don pafuka..

If u laik di bobo, wey be say e buy 2 tiket dey follo u laik dog, wey cari di bone on top di eba, u for phone am tell am say u don miss yar period o, and u no fit eat...say e be laik say one junior dey yar belle wey dey scream 'biko, wey my papa, I wan chop dollars'


I no blame di bobo o...na yar fault

Originally posted by Dear Abi
This is from a member that chooses to remain anonymous

As usual the same thing every girl, i know has.
well mine is, i met this guy online. and we exchanged ims,pms, sms,calls etc. He lives in the US and i live in Naija, i've never been keen on longdistance relationships so i never really took things seriously.Until he started professing his undying love for me and all that. Yet he told he was already engaged to someone else.
well maybe because he sounded very convincing about how much he loved me, i fell in love with him too. He acted like someone in love too.
So he came to Naija for about two weeks, we together practicall the whole time he was around, he even flew with me all the way to abuja, where i went to do some work. He never mentioned anything about making any commitments or even about coming back to see me again. when he went back i cried my eyes out, i was miserable for weeks on end. before he came to naija, he used to call me about 3 times a day,but since he left we've spoken only twice and on one of the occassions, i called him.
so my question is, would it be wrong for me to forget about him? He even came to my house to meet my folks when i didn't invite him. The truth is that i'm actually confused about what next to do.

[Baba Iyanu]

Wai u tell am make she give up on di guy...dis is not what di babes want to hear o...

U for tell am make she board plane go look for am...dis fit be di onli chance di babes get at love...

Na una dey tink all men are dogs...

Originally posted by Dear Abi
Dear Anonymous,

Online relationship is a risk. However, life itself is a risk too. No one can live his/her life risk-free, especially in the areas of love and relationship. But getting down to the brass track, in this situation a couple of things might have happened.

First, you met and he wasn't feeling you the way he thought felt you online and/or over the phone. People, men and women, are very fickle. And sometimes pictures don't tell all the story, you know.

Secondly, (and this I think is the most likely scenario) the guy was in it for the booty. From your story, this dude strikes me as a predator. And unfortunately, there are many users and losers out there - both online and offline. We call them the "hit it and quit it" kinda guys. Hence, he hits it and doesn't need you any more. He's probably on the prowl for another gullible girl he'll use and dump - vicious cycle. The fact that he was already engaged to someone else before you met should've raised the red flag.

Bottom line, you gotta forget this guy and move on with your life. Either way, he isn't worth your tears. There are better men out there for you. So keep your chin up sister and stride on. And I'll be praying for you too.

[kulata]

Originally posted by Dear Abi
Dear Anonymous,

Online relationship is a risk. However, life itself is a risk too. No one can live his/her life risk-free, especially in the areas of love and relationship. But getting down to the brass track, in this situation a couple of things might have happened.

First, you met and he wasn't feeling you the way he thought felt you online and/or over the phone. People, men and women, are very fickle. And sometimes pictures don't tell all the story, you know.

Secondly, (and this I think is the most likely scenario) the guy was in it for the booty. From your story, this dude strikes me as a predator. And unfortunately, there are many users and losers out there - both online and offline. We call them the "hit it and quit it" kinda guys. Hence, he hits it and doesn't need you any more. He's probably on the prowl for another gullible girl he'll use and dump - vicious cycle. The fact that he was already engaged to someone else before you met should've raised the red flag.

Bottom line, you gotta forget this guy and move on with your life. Either way, he isn't worth your tears. There are better men out there for you. So keep your chin up sister and stride on. And I'll be praying for you too.

You have zero experience and you need to be FIRED

First thing, the relationship online was still based on curiousity hence more attention and all. Now he has reached the stage where he needs to evaluate as per say he has seen her in flesh and all so excitement level obviously would have reduced. If he calls back after a week or 2 of contemplating then there is a possible potential hia otherwise the girl should well have an open mind and start preparing for other possibilities. She shouldn't expect things to be intense every step of the way, they have reached the reality stage which unfortunately can be slow, cold and brutal. Make she chill small before deciding to move on.

[kulata]

This Abi no dey analytical and too dey rush into conclusions. Vote me in as ABI

[Baba Iyanu]

You are abosultely right, they have got to the cooling stage in the relationship, where the man might decide, this is the lady for him. Abi does not trust men, she is probably bitter against all men, because she has probably trusted the wrong types in the past; Her advice is always painting men as the evil doers of this world.

A lady like Abi might even back gay marriages amongst women due to her intense hatred of men and the goodness they have in them.

kulata you should take over, Abi is posioning the minds of our young beautiful Nigerian ladies. I have the intention of marrying one of them from here one day.

I dont want a woman, that will wake up one day and scream "Oloshi ni iwo Iyanu yi sha, Abi don tell me say una no dey useful, na today I go cut yar prick"

Originally posted by kulata
You have zero experience and you need to be FIRED

First thing, the relationship online was still based on curiousity hence more attention and all. Now he has reached the stage where he needs to evaluate as per say he has seen her in flesh and all so excitement level obviously would have reduced. If he calls back after a week or 2 of contemplating then there is a possible potential hia otherwise the girl should well have an open mind and start preparing for other possibilities. She shouldn't expect things to be intense every step of the way, they have reached the reality stage which unfortunately can be slow, cold and brutal. Make she chill small before deciding to move on.