U Can't Marry Him, He's Yoruba

**SISSY** · 07-12-2004, 05:25 AM

When will all this tribalism stop.... You know one of the hardest things about being a naija born here in the US, is that I'm constantly bombarded with negative comments about diff. tribes. I can't understand how our parents, educated as they are, still cling to their antiquated ways of thinking. Their mentality is so primitive. Don't they know that they are promoting and teaching their children hate and prejudice. To tell your child that they cannot date or marry someone who is, say, Yoruba...because you are Igbo..is just ludicrous. To automatically attribute characteristics and behaviorisms to someone based solely on their tribe is ridiculous. And these views are not even confined to Nigerians...my own parents are telling me that black americans are lazy, all they do is drugs, and whatnot....HOW CAN SUCH A STATEMENT.....unless one has met every single black american u CANNOT with such a statement... When I started college and my father found out my 2 roomates were spanish..he started lecturing me about spanish people..saying all they do is party all the time...what IDIOCY!! I'VE fought and argued as much as I can to let them know that NO ONE CAN GENERALIZE AN ENTIRE RACE... Una sabi that all these people did not die in the civil rights movement for us to continue in such immature thinking...it was that kind of thinking that resulted in lynching and forced us into segregation of schools and water fountains. And these are parents who are SUPPOSEDLY so God-oriented... My relationship with God and study of his word leads me to the conclusion that I MUST JUDGE EVERYONE ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS. You know, it is this VERY THING..this TRIBALISM that is keeping Nigeria back from achieving it's full potential...All this clinging ot ones own people.. If we all saw ourselves first as NIGERIANS..A single unite..there wouldn't be so much wahala in this our country. I tell u this....If my father was EVER to say...it's either u don't marry this man or u will be disowned...I will choose my husband in a quick heartbeat... They're lucky if my husband's skin is brown let alone Nigerian....What I'm trying to say is that it's MY choice...I'M the one who's going to have live with that man and have his children for the rest of my life...not to sound morbid..but my parents and elders are going to die eventually and then where will I be?? With a husband I don't love. Love doesn't come often and whatever color it comes in if it's true and right then I'll choose it over my fam. Well not my brothers because they think the way I do, but my father and aunties I will have to say goodbye..I've been pleasing them my whole life..it has to stop sometime.

dupreejohnson · 07-12-2004, 05:29 AM

i am yorbua

oh yeah that is too much to read can you break it down for me........didnt graduate from high school....

Onyiiboy · 07-12-2004, 05:31 AM

Adamna! I guess u really thought about what i said didn't u?

This exact thing happend to me....its crazy

**SISSY** · 07-12-2004, 05:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dupreejohnson
i am yorbua

oh yeah that is too much to read can you break it down for me........didnt graduate from high school....

no...stop being lazy and read it....it's not that hard.

dupreejohnson · 07-12-2004, 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by adanma
no...stop being lazy and read it....it's not that hard.

Onyiiboy · 07-12-2004, 05:36 AM

Today, my uncles (including Adamna's dad), my aunt, and my parents had a LONG discussion with me about my yoruba GF. Among the topics mentioned were:

1. dating is a distraction in college
2. yorubas are evil
3. i'm too good for her
4. yorubas are wicked
5. yorubas are the enemies of igbos
6. i shouldnt' think of gurls in college
7. i have to choose between the family and her

CAN U BELIEVE THIS????

Adamna....i'm praying that there won't be more wahala in your house cuz your dad and uncle R. are prolly planning to finish u off......

dupreejohnson · 07-12-2004, 05:37 AM

you got to leave those type of things in prayer.......

i seriously doubt you would the blessings from your parents of who ever you marry?

or maybe not?

Onyiiboy · 07-12-2004, 05:40 AM

But then again...why am i suprised that they said what they said? I was being lectured by 3 biafran veterans...i'm sure they would LOVE yoruba people.

adamna, uncle S. and Aunt. CC didn't say anthing about Yorubas....they were the only ones that didn't

dupreejohnson · 07-12-2004, 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Onyiiboy
Today, my uncles (including Adamna's dad), my aunt, and my parents had a LONG discussion with me about my yoruba GF. Among the topics mentioned were:

1. dating is a distraction in college
2. yorubas are evil
3. i'm too good for her
4. yorubas are wicked
5. yorubas are the enemies of igbos
6. i shouldnt' think of gurls in college
7. i have to choose between the family and her

CAN U BELIEVE THIS????

Adamna....i'm praying that there won't be more wahala in your house cuz your dad and uncle R. are prolly planning to finish u off......

i dont think anyone would have the guts to sit me down like that....

Onyiiboy · 07-12-2004, 05:42 AM

Adamna, i swear..i felt like a criminal...and my crime: loving a yoruba woman

Kissy · 07-12-2004, 05:42 AM

dang!! naija parents are funny o! they bring their kids here and they expect them not to integrate with other races, talkless of other naija tribes. I'm sayin, if they don't want you to date other tribes, they should have left you back in the igboland, not even lagos sef. i mean they sat you down and went all over this? they're acting like you're gonna get married tommorow.

Quote:

Originally posted by Onyiiboy
Today, my uncles (including Adamna's dad), my aunt, and my parents had a LONG discussion with me about my yoruba GF. Among the topics mentioned were:

1. dating is a distraction in college
2. yorubas are evil
3. i'm too good for her
4. yorubas are wicked
5. yorubas are the enemies of igbos
6. i shouldnt' think of gurls in college
7. i have to choose between the family and her

CAN U BELIEVE THIS????

Adamna....i'm praying that there won't be more wahala in your house cuz your dad and uncle R. are prolly planning to finish u off......

**SISSY** · 07-12-2004, 05:54 AM

It's just ridiculous..and the most baffling thing is that it's not even like they want to confine to me to just Nigerians..I'm being told to stick to just the Igbos...As if Igbo are the perfect people...the only respectable people.??!! Every other people has issues BUT the Igbo abi??!! My parents and elders have talked junk about every ethnicity possible EXCEPT igbo. And the funny thing is my MOM IS NOT IGBO..she's from Calabar..she's ibibio!! And my father's rebuttal for that is "but she can speak igbo"....uh SO WHAT!!!...THAT MEANS NOTHING.!! So now because she can speak your language she is qualified as an igbo?? So because I speak spanish you can now call me hispanic?? What kind of reasoning is that?? Ah ah..I wash my hands of these people.

dupreejohnson · 07-12-2004, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by adanma
It's just ridiculous..and the most baffling thing is that it's not even like they want to confine to me to just Nigerians..I'm being told to stick to just the Igbos...As if Igbo are the perfect people...the only respectable people.??!! Every other people has issues BUT the Igbo abi??!! My parents and elders have talked junk about every ethnicity possible EXCEPT igbo. And the funny thing is my MOM IS NOT IGBO..she's from Calabar!! And my father's rebuttal for that is "but she can speak igbo"....uh SO WHAT!!!...THAT MEANS NOTHING.!! So now because she can speak your language she is qualified as an igbo?? So because I speak spanish you can now call me hispanic?? What kind of reasoning is that?? Ah ah..I wash my hands of these people.

you will be ok by the end of the week......no matter how messed up their veiws are .......

07-12-2004, 05:58 AM

Adamna, it has nothing to do with being raised in the US, you'd have encountered the same thing raised in Naija.

Personally, I can't imagine marrying a Yoruba dude. I just can't imagine my kids being called Tayo or Bunmi... let's not even talk about having one Adebayo kind last name.

dupreejohnson · 07-12-2004, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Phantom
Adamna, it has nothing to do with being raised in the US, you'd have encountered the same thing raised in Naija.

Personally, I can't imagine marrying a Yoruba dude. I just can't imagine my kids being called Tayo or Bunmi... let's not even talk about having one Adebayo kind last name.

so name them something different..................

07-12-2004, 05:25 AM	#1 (permalink)
SISSY Queen Diva Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Wishing upon a star***** Posts: 11,379 Points: 6,000.00 Bank: 97,571,540,762.23 Total Points: 97,571,546,762.23 Donate Rep Power: 21474879	U Can't Marry Him, He's Yoruba When will all this tribalism stop.... You know one of the hardest things about being a naija born here in the US, is that I'm constantly bombarded with negative comments about diff. tribes. I can't understand how our parents, educated as they are, still cling to their antiquated ways of thinking. Their mentality is so primitive. Don't they know that they are promoting and teaching their children hate and prejudice. To tell your child that they cannot date or marry someone who is, say, Yoruba...because you are Igbo..is just ludicrous. To automatically attribute characteristics and behaviorisms to someone based solely on their tribe is ridiculous. And these views are not even confined to Nigerians...my own parents are telling me that black americans are lazy, all they do is drugs, and whatnot....HOW CAN SUCH A STATEMENT.....unless one has met every single black american u CANNOT with such a statement... When I started college and my father found out my 2 roomates were spanish..he started lecturing me about spanish people..saying all they do is party all the time...what IDIOCY!! I'VE fought and argued as much as I can to let them know that NO ONE CAN GENERALIZE AN ENTIRE RACE... Una sabi that all these people did not die in the civil rights movement for us to continue in such immature thinking...it was that kind of thinking that resulted in lynching and forced us into segregation of schools and water fountains. And these are parents who are SUPPOSEDLY so God-oriented... My relationship with God and study of his word leads me to the conclusion that I MUST JUDGE EVERYONE ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS. You know, it is this VERY THING..this TRIBALISM that is keeping Nigeria back from achieving it's full potential...All this clinging ot ones own people.. If we all saw ourselves first as NIGERIANS..A single unite..there wouldn't be so much wahala in this our country. I tell u this....If my father was EVER to say...it's either u don't marry this man or u will be disowned...I will choose my husband in a quick heartbeat... They're lucky if my husband's skin is brown let alone Nigerian....What I'm trying to say is that it's MY choice...I'M the one who's going to have live with that man and have his children for the rest of my life...not to sound morbid..but my parents and elders are going to die eventually and then where will I be?? With a husband I don't love. Love doesn't come often and whatever color it comes in if it's true and right then I'll choose it over my fam. Well not my brothers because they think the way I do, but my father and aunties I will have to say goodbye..I've been pleasing them my whole life..it has to stop sometime. __________________ stolen from aurora's signature I mean its not rocket science....i want my girl to be the proudest chick out there...i want her to tell her girls that her man would never cheat...that her man loves her to death...that her man truly lives to see her happy...i want her to say everything that ppl would consider 'stupid'...but most importantly, i want that when she says these things, she'd be right... I have joy, unspeakable joy Last edited by Sissy; 07-12-2004 at 06:01 AM..

07-12-2004, 05:54 AM	#12 (permalink)
SISSY Queen Diva Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Wishing upon a star***** Posts: 11,379 Points: 6,000.00 Bank: 97,571,540,762.23 Total Points: 97,571,546,762.23 Donate Rep Power: 21474879	It's just ridiculous..and the most baffling thing is that it's not even like they want to confine to me to just Nigerians..I'm being told to stick to just the Igbos...As if Igbo are the perfect people...the only respectable people.??!! Every other people has issues BUT the Igbo abi??!! My parents and elders have talked junk about every ethnicity possible EXCEPT igbo. And the funny thing is my MOM IS NOT IGBO..she's from Calabar..she's ibibio!! And my father's rebuttal for that is "but she can speak igbo"....uh SO WHAT!!!...THAT MEANS NOTHING.!! So now because she can speak your language she is qualified as an igbo?? So because I speak spanish you can now call me hispanic?? What kind of reasoning is that?? Ah ah..I wash my hands of these people. __________________ stolen from aurora's signature I mean its not rocket science....i want my girl to be the proudest chick out there...i want her to tell her girls that her man would never cheat...that her man loves her to death...that her man truly lives to see her happy...i want her to say everything that ppl would consider 'stupid'...but most importantly, i want that when she says these things, she'd be right... I have joy, unspeakable joy Last edited by Sissy; 07-12-2004 at 06:02 AM..

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07-12-2004, 05:29 AM	#2 (permalink)
dupreejohnson great to be dead Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 27,458 Points: 0.04 Bank: 24,960,651,702,131.02 Total Points: 24,960,651,702,131.06 Donate Rep Power: 21347120	i am yorbua oh yeah that is too much to read can you break it down for me........didnt graduate from high school....

07-12-2004, 05:31 AM	#3 (permalink)
Onyiiboy Moderator Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: DMV Area Posts: 14,111 Points: 90,000.00 Bank: 399,320.82 Total Points: 489,320.82 Donate Rep Power: 756306	Adamna! I guess u really thought about what i said didn't u? This exact thing happend to me....its crazy

07-12-2004, 05:36 AM	#6 (permalink)
Onyiiboy Moderator Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: DMV Area Posts: 14,111 Points: 90,000.00 Bank: 399,320.82 Total Points: 489,320.82 Donate Rep Power: 756306	Today, my uncles (including Adamna's dad), my aunt, and my parents had a LONG discussion with me about my yoruba GF. Among the topics mentioned were: 1. dating is a distraction in college 2. yorubas are evil 3. i'm too good for her 4. yorubas are wicked 5. yorubas are the enemies of igbos 6. i shouldnt' think of gurls in college 7. i have to choose between the family and her CAN U BELIEVE THIS???? Adamna....i'm praying that there won't be more wahala in your house cuz your dad and uncle R. are prolly planning to finish u off......

07-12-2004, 05:37 AM	#7 (permalink)
dupreejohnson great to be dead Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 27,458 Points: 0.04 Bank: 24,960,651,702,131.02 Total Points: 24,960,651,702,131.06 Donate Rep Power: 21347120	you got to leave those type of things in prayer....... i seriously doubt you would the blessings from your parents of who ever you marry? or maybe not?

07-12-2004, 05:40 AM	#8 (permalink)
Onyiiboy Moderator Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: DMV Area Posts: 14,111 Points: 90,000.00 Bank: 399,320.82 Total Points: 489,320.82 Donate Rep Power: 756306	But then again...why am i suprised that they said what they said? I was being lectured by 3 biafran veterans...i'm sure they would LOVE yoruba people. adamna, uncle S. and Aunt. CC didn't say anthing about Yorubas....they were the only ones that didn't

07-12-2004, 05:42 AM	#10 (permalink)
Onyiiboy Moderator Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: DMV Area Posts: 14,111 Points: 90,000.00 Bank: 399,320.82 Total Points: 489,320.82 Donate Rep Power: 756306	Adamna, i swear..i felt like a criminal...and my crime: loving a yoruba woman

07-12-2004, 05:58 AM	#14 (permalink)
Phantom Posts: n/a Points: 0 Bank: 0 Total Points: 0 Donate	Adamna, it has nothing to do with being raised in the US, you'd have encountered the same thing raised in Naija. Personally, I can't imagine marrying a Yoruba dude. I just can't imagine my kids being called Tayo or Bunmi... let's not even talk about having one Adebayo kind last name.

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