How will you settle this?

[saul_to_paul]

Sister X is in her third decade of life when she meets Brother V who is in his 70s. X has never been married before, but she desires to have a husband and children soon. V had been married before and has grown children. X AND V fall in love, then get married. X has been trying to get pregnant, but it wasn't happening. It turns out that V had a vasectomy and does not want anymore children. What should X do? By the way, X is a born again christian and she is a member of your church.

(V is for Vasectomy )

[Hazaq]

Originally Posted by saul_to_paul

Sister X is in her third decade of life when she meets Brother V who is in his 70s. X has never been married before, but she desires to have a husband and children soon. V had been married before and has grown children. X AND V fall in love, then get married. X has been trying to get pregnant, but it wasn't happening. It turns out that V had a vasectomy and does not want anymore children. What should X do? By the way, X is a born again christian and she is a member of your church.

(V is for Vasectomy )

Question, did they not discuss this before they got married? i.e. children? Did they not discuss it or did he lie to her, just not tell her? Furthermore did she seek counsel before marry him because I'm thinking 70 yrs old, to 30 yrs old...Hmmm! Why did she marry him? Did she receives a revelation that this man was her husband? What was her conviction based on?

Really, there is nothing she can do! She is a born again christian, she cannot divorce him bcoz the only basis for divorce according to scripture is marital unfaithfulness. Unless by one reason or the other God bypasses the Vasectomy thang, and blesses her with a child, including changing his heart about having children etc - Vasectomy is sometimes reversible.

Q, is he born again?

[saul_to_paul]

V never mentioned he had a Vasectomy. We don't know if they had a discussion about starting a new family. We know that X comes to church and she is serious about GOD. As for V, we are unsure.

[Hazaq]

Well to be frank I still revert to what I said earlier. I can understand X's pain because I can imagine it must be painful to find this out after marriage when it is too late. But she can either try to convince him to go in for reversal of the Vasectomy if possible, and she can put it all in her prayers also. However this is one cross she must carry. I feel for her, but on this one she must lean on God totally, and let the will of God be establised.

To follow scriptures she cannot leave/divorce him. And if he is not born again, and he decides to leave her out of his own free will, then she is free. However she is not to try and do things to get him to leave her either....it will not be right before God because her intentions are wrong in this case scenario.

She must endure!

Originally Posted by saul_to_paul

V never mentioned he had a Vasectomy. We don't know if they had a discussion about starting a new family. We know that X comes to church and she is serious about GOD. As for V, we are unsure.

[saul_to_paul]

Let's see if V agrees to get a reversal of his Vasectomy. If he does, we hope the plumbing works again as old time. Let's day V refuses to get a reversal, what next?

Originally Posted by Hazaq

Question, did they not discuss this before they got married? i.e. children? Did they not discuss it or did he lie to her, just not tell her? Furthermore did she seek counsel before marry him because I'm thinking 70 yrs old, to 30 yrs old...Hmmm! Why did she marry him? Did she receives a revelation that this man was her husband? What was her conviction based on?

Really, there is nothing she can do! She is a born again christian, she cannot divorce him bcoz the only basis for divorce according to scripture is marital unfaithfulness. Unless by one reason or the other God bypasses the Vasectomy thang, and blesses her with a child, including changing his heart about having children etc - Vasectomy is sometimes reversible.

Q, is he born again?

Originally Posted by saul_to_paul

V never mentioned he had a Vasectomy. We don't know if they had a discussion about starting a new family. We know that X comes to church and she is serious about GOD. As for V, we are unsure.

Originally Posted by Hazaq

Well to be frank I still revert to what I said earlier. I can understand X's pain because I can imagine it must be painful to find this out after marriage when it is too late. But she can either try to convince him to go in for reversal of the Vasectomy if possible, and she can put it all in her prayers also. However this is one cross she must carry. I feel for her, but on this one she must lean on God totally, and let the will of God be establised.

To follow scriptures she cannot leave/divorce him. And if he is not born again, and he decides to leave her out of his own free will, then she is free. However she is not to try and do things to get him to leave her either....it will not be right before God because her intentions are wrong in this case scenario.

She must endure!

[datnunu]

I dont understand why they got together in first place?
"Biological Clock & Companionship"

While they were dating
-They should have talked about the possilbities of children, I mean thats extra important
-Ok V might be reversible but, what of if he absolutely doesn't want children? Adopt?

[Hazaq]

Originally Posted by saul_to_paul

Let's see if V agrees to get a reversal of his Vasectomy. If he does, we hope the plumbing works again as old time. Let's day V refuses to get a reversal, what next?

All in God's hand my dear! God is able to do anything.

[Hazaq]

Originally Posted by datnunu

I dont understand why they got together in first place?
"Biological Clock & Companionship"

While they were dating
-They should have talked about the possilbities of children, I mean thats extra important
-Ok V might be reversible but, what of if he absolutely doesn't want children? Adopt?

Definitely agree...it is something they ought to have discussed during their courtship.

[saul_to_paul]

We are not sure of the circumstances that made them marry each other, but we believe it was love. Some say love is blind

Originally Posted by datnunu

I dont understand why they got together in first place?
"Biological Clock & Companionship"

While they were dating
-They should have talked about the possilbities of children, I mean thats extra important
-Ok V might be reversible but, what of if he absolutely doesn't want children? Adopt?

[Hazaq]

Originally Posted by saul_to_paul

We are not sure of the circumstances that made them marry each other, but we believe it was love. Some say love is blind

Me I dont know about love being blind. All I know is, born again christian, you must be wise.

[datnunu]

Originally Posted by saul_to_paul

We are not sure of the circumstances that made them marry each other, but we believe it was love. Some say love is blind

ok, but they should have entered it with both eyes open. I mean, its not a game or drill, its life. And someone or both will end up unhappy. I suggest a compromise. If her having a child of her own is verry important, then he can do the proceedure for her. Have children/a child.
Which will make her make her happy, make him not so much! and vice versa.