I need your toughts on this igbo guy!!!

dres · 12-10-2009, 05:05 PM

I'm a tall, black, beautiful (with 8 figure) and educated haitian girl (about to end my degree in engineering) who met a 25 years old igbo man from a good family (still university student) 2 years ago at an university campus. He is a charming and handsome guy also. When we first met he seemed very nice, but (around this period of time) he had stood me up so many times and always came back with an excuse (promised to make it up to me). We have stop talking so many times because of all this (he called until I answered). After a while, He finally claimed that he wasn't stable.

This summer I went to visit him because we're not leaving in the same state (he was suppose to come but again money problem). We spent a good time (no sex, I refused because we're not in a relationship). During my stay, he maked me listen to songs who says that I'm the type of girl he was looking for (he said nothing); he even said that I'll bring money to his family (with no explanations). I also discovered that I more than like him, and he likes me also (he has always refused my frienship though).

My problem is that I don't understand him (he said he don't understand me neither). He keeps claiming that everything that happen between us is meant to be, but still acting weird. In the biginning, I admit that I wasn't easy on his ego. I even tell him that he don't fit in my category (so I'll never have anything to do with him- I was angry because of his attitude), but since I realised that I was wrong I started checking up on him once every week (calls/texts, he reciprocate only if I stop for a long time).

Sometimes when I call or send him a text he will not answer. Finally, I confronted him and give him a choice (no more contact or answer). He told me that everything was allright and we should keep in touch. I just don't understand because I don't play games.

People, I need your toughts on this matter, please!

naija_pikin · 12-10-2009, 05:15 PM

Baby girl, you've been toyed with from the get-go. You may not play games, but he sure as hell does. My advice to you is simply this: forget him and move on with your life.

PH Boy · 12-10-2009, 05:41 PM

You said the guy is unstable and that could very well be the root of your problem. Even if he is genuinely into you, instability combined with the distance between you guys, is a recipe for disaster. I'd suggest you have a real candid conversation with him; to gauge his intention and 'how unstable he is'

. If he doesnt SHOW real interest or doesnt seem like he can get it together.....then

When we (Men) want something or someone, we act a certain way. Its kinda odd that dude aint up on it...but then again he could be going thru some family issues or whatever it was u said in ya post... so i'm suggesting u set up a meet, dinner possibly... and let him know what you're looking for (a serious commitment) ...see what happens..

oh almost forgot: For the love of God, give him some, haba

SweetAma · 12-10-2009, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by PH Boy

You said the guy is unstable and that could very well be the root of your problem. Even if he is genuinely into you, instability combined with the distance between you guys, is a recipe for disaster. I'd suggest you have a real candid conversation with him; to gauge his intention and 'how unstable he is'

. If he doesnt SHOW real interest or doesnt seem like he can get it together.....then

When we (Men) want something or someone, we act a certain way. Its kinda odd that dude aint up on it...but then again he could be going thru some family issues or whatever it was u said in ya post... so i'm suggesting u set up a meet, dinner possibly... and let him know what you're looking for (a serious commitment) ...see what happens..

oh almost forgot: For the love of God, give him some, haba

dres · 12-12-2009, 08:29 PM

@naija_pikin
Thanks, but I don't feel that I have being played because this guy got nothing from me.

@PH Boy
Thank you for your advice!
Like I said we are not leaving in the same state, so I tried once to introduce this conversation by phone. He told that we'll talk about it later.

dres · 12-12-2009, 08:36 PM

@PH Boy

Quote:

oh almost forgot: For the love of God, give him some, haba

No, it's not that simple. He has to deserve it!

PH Boy · 12-12-2009, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by dres

@PH Boy
Thank you for your advice!
Like I said we are not leaving in the same state, so I tried once to introduce this conversation by phone. He told that we'll talk about it later.

Permit me to speak frankly, but why is he not doing the pursuing again? I mean based on your description, you are a great catch..so whats with the "we'll talk about it later?" Dont you think something is off? Remember you dont want to come off as a desperate chick..wont be a good look for you.

Anyway, back to your post..... holding a serious conversation over the phone is not a good idea IMHO. You dont get to see the facial expression of the person you're talking to.... My suggestion is that you converse in person; either you visit him or ask him to come on your turf. First thing you should find out is if he is ready for a committed relationship . Sometimes y'all get caught up in the moment and fail to read the signals.... I hope it works out to your advantage......

Good luck

P.S. Please send the check in the mail. My beer parlor therapist education cost money 2 u know

*I'm not a relationship expert o. So please feel free to ignore comments posted by the PH Boy xter*

PH Boy · 12-12-2009, 10:31 PM

Originally Posted by dres

@PH Boy

No, it's not that simple. He has to deserve it!

It could be the missing piece of the puzzle, you never know

dres · 12-13-2009, 02:23 AM

@PH Boy

Thanks so much and may God bless you! I just vote him out; he is now classified file (lol!). When I'm thinking of the way he begged me to come visiting him and how moved he seemed to be when he finally saw me...Hey!!! He was probably expecting some.

As for the beer, this is not a good investment for your health!

Take care!

P.S. you have the potential to be a relationship expert.http://www.naijaryders.com/forums/im...lies/smile.gif

monblaze · 12-15-2009, 02:49 PM

You should not even be asking this question...
He's dumb and He's a scammer...
He doesnt seem 2 b a very good one, tho...

naija_pikin · 12-15-2009, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by dres

@naija_pikin
Thanks, but I don't feel that I have being played because this guy got nothing from me.

@PH Boy
Thank you for your advice!
Like I said we are not leaving in the same state, so I tried once to introduce this conversation by phone. He told that we'll talk about it later.

That he hasn't hit the physical jackpot does not mean that you haven't been toyed with. He's wasting your time, and you're being constantly kept guessing. His words are inconsistent with his actions, and there's little reason for you to put up with it any more than you already have.

edit: I guess he's already been x'd out..good stuff.

@ PHboy.. stop using my font, you silly bum. Well, sha, people were complaining that it was too tiny so I had to stick to this one instead so that they would let me hear word.

PH Boy · 12-16-2009, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by naija_pikin

That he hasn't hit the physical jackpot does not mean that you haven't been toyed with. He's wasting your time, and you're being constantly kept guessing. His words are inconsistent with his actions, and there's little reason for you to put up with it any more than you already have.

edit: I guess he's already been x'd out..good stuff.

@ PHboy.. stop using my font, you silly bum. Well, sha, people were complaining that it was too tiny so I had to stick to this one instead so that they would let me hear word.

12-21-2009, 02:08 AM

I honestly think that you should move on I was with a Yoruba guy who was nice in the beginging used to sms each other first thing in the mornings this went on for weeks and then things changed. I stood me up so many times etc put would always find time for sexual advances. Turns out his shady behaviour was due to the fact that he was married and was hiding it now am not saying the you guy is married but if he were interested you would know. I am with another Yoruba guy right now he is doing his masters but he finds time to be with me and we voice chat for 3hrs or more sometimes and we email each other now nothing is perfect but you should feel as though you are wanted and loved. I know what you mean about him playing songs for you my new guy semt me many song including P square's 'No On Like You' and Wande Coal's 'Ololufe' he should make you know how much you mean and if he cant you probably don't mean much but he can't say it .....

Baba Iyanu · 12-21-2009, 02:17 PM

You dont seem to have any problems, it seems the igbo man loves you.
What else do you want apart from love from one of the most loving Nigerian people?

You come across as greedy and spoilt and you should ask for a refund.

Originally Posted by dres

I'm a tall, black, beautiful (with 8 figure) and educated haitian girl (about to end my degree in engineering) who met a 25 years old igbo man from a good family (still university student) 2 years ago at an university campus. He is a charming and handsome guy also. When we first met he seemed very nice, but (around this period of time) he had stood me up so many times and always came back with an excuse (promised to make it up to me). We have stop talking so many times because of all this (he called until I answered). After a while, He finally claimed that he wasn't stable.

This summer I went to visit him because we're not leaving in the same state (he was suppose to come but again money problem). We spent a good time (no sex, I refused because we're not in a relationship). During my stay, he maked me listen to songs who says that I'm the type of girl he was looking for (he said nothing); he even said that I'll bring money to his family (with no explanations). I also discovered that I more than like him, and he likes me also (he has always refused my frienship though).

My problem is that I don't understand him (he said he don't understand me neither). He keeps claiming that everything that happen between us is meant to be, but still acting weird. In the biginning, I admit that I wasn't easy on his ego. I even tell him that he don't fit in my category (so I'll never have anything to do with him- I was angry because of his attitude), but since I realised that I was wrong I started checking up on him once every week (calls/texts, he reciprocate only if I stop for a long time).

Sometimes when I call or send him a text he will not answer. Finally, I confronted him and give him a choice (no more contact or answer). He told me that everything was allright and we should keep in touch. I just don't understand because I don't play games.

People, I need your toughts on this matter, please!

still_dres · 12-22-2009, 09:56 AM

@Baba Iyanu

Thank you for highlighting my mistakes! I appreciated it cause I'm still learning english though.

How do you explain this love? His careless attitude? What do you mean by I came across as greedy and spoilt?

@Unregistered

Thanks for sharing! I'm doing everything possible to move on.