Help!! I need some relationship advise...

lovetowork2006 · 06-20-2009, 01:14 AM

This is quite a long story so bear with me.

I lived in the US for almost half my life and I am now presently studying the in UK. I am Nigerian but never in my life went out with any Naija boys so it is kind of difficult figure out the way they act.

Anyway, I met this naija boy at my University (we are both doing Masters) we knew each other for a for about 7 months, we talked once in a while over the phone just to say what's up.

Over the last month, the relationship changed to something more serious. Just last week, he asked me where I saw this relationship going and I told him I wanted to take it day by day. He said he wanted a relationship with me and that he liked me a lot. He always uses this phrase, "you have finished me" lol.

He was going out with this white chick for about 3 months but they broke up and she wants him back. He reassured me that he didn't want her back but he wanted me. I believed him.

Anyway, I went to see my family this week in another city without telling him. So when he called me, and I told him I was somewhere else, he was shocked (which is understandable).

The next day, I see on his facebook page that his ex girlfriend wrote about meeting him that night, asking if he still wanted to still go out or if they can just chill in his house and she will cook for him. He removed the comment not knowing I had already seen it.

The last time I spoke to him was 2 days ago where he just acted weired and quiet. He said he was going to call me back because he had to go run and get something but he never did.

I am so confused. I don't know if he is just angry with me for leaving without telling him and wants to hurt me or if he is shagging his ex again. My question though will be why will he have removed her comment off his facebook page?

Now that I know for sure that I definately want to be in a relationship with him, this comes up.

PLEASE HELP...I AM SO CONFUSED

talltolu · 06-20-2009, 10:26 AM

just call him, or meet up with him and talk to him about your concerns.

ogologo · 06-20-2009, 12:38 PM

*sigh* Yet another casualty of Facebook...

Boss · 06-20-2009, 02:38 PM

First things first, have u apologized for the stupid shit u did?

lovetowork2006 · 06-20-2009, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by Boss

First things first, have u apologized for the stupid shit u did?

I did apologise and he said he was shocked and he was over it...this is about me going to another city without telling him.

lovetowork2006 · 06-20-2009, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by talltolu

just call him, or meet up with him and talk to him about your concerns.

I think that's what I'm going to do.

ogologo · 06-20-2009, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by Boss

First things first, have u apologized for the stupid shit u did?

ur statement is bullshyt, na crime to go see ur family w/o telling somebody?

Boss · 06-21-2009, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by ogologo

ur statement is bullshyt, na crime to go see ur family w/o telling somebody?

it is the polite/respectful/common sense thing to do. U r not asking for permission to leave.

naija_pikin · 06-23-2009, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by Boss

it is the polite/respectful/common sense thing to do. U r not asking for permission to leave.

But yet a man can put a child on a plane without letting its mother know? You need to be a bit more consistent with your views/arguments.

Boss · 06-23-2009, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by naija_pikin

But yet a man can put a child on a plane without letting its mother know? You need to be a bit more consistent with your views/arguments.

The Devil's advocate. Try playing it sometime.

Isi eri · 06-23-2009, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by Boss

The Devil's advocate. Try playing it sometime.

yeah right!

naija_pikin · 06-24-2009, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by Isi eri

yeah right!

lol, word.

As if I haven't been playing devil's advocate for the better part of my existence on NR.

J3D · 06-24-2009, 03:58 PM

Are you just sure that you want him now because you have a competition OR it is just a plain co-incidence? Im sure he asked you what you wanted out of the relationship for a reason. I think he removed the message because he felt a sense of guilt by being caught between two females and still indecisive. First, I would say talk things over with him then afterwards make a rational decision from there on.

monblaze · 06-24-2009, 05:35 PM

its good dat u apologized
its normal 2 b concerned
he may jus hv removed the post so u wont b suspicious
but the message was suspicious enough

tell him u saw the message
ask him wat is goin on
ask if its sometin u did
if u dont lyk d answers
let him go...

i wld hv said 'kick him 2 d curb'
bt cos u actually like him...den u hv 2 communicate

lovetowork2006 · 06-25-2009, 04:17 PM

Thanks for your response monblaze and J3D.

J3D, I have always been interested him. His ex girlfriend has always been after him even after they broke up. I talked with him again and he says he wants to be with me and I should ignore his ex who he claims is just trying to start trouble. He has now deleted his facebook page because it seems to have got him in a lot of trouble.

monblaze, I asked him about the facebook message and he said that his ex is crazy and is just trying to cause problems for him.

I really don't know what to believe because I want to start trusting him so we can move forward. I hope I can begin to trust him again.