Would you take back a cheating partner?

AfroSoul · 04-04-2009, 01:08 AM

Why or why not?

I can almost guarantee that I wouldn't but not because of anger or resentment.

1) A woman who is willing to cheat on me is undesirable. I wouldn't hold a grudge against any woman who did so or look down on her but her lack of respect for my feelings and our relationship is a turn-off. I could not have a relationship with a woman who was deceitful or dishonest.

2) Breaking up with her would give me some sense of power and control over the situation. It would help me to deal with the feelings of helplessness and grief that she's caused me.

I could forgive a woman who cheated on me but I wouldn't be interested in reconciliation. Many people confuse the two. Forced reconciliation is as unhealthy as holding a grudge is.

What about you? What do you think?

Isi eri · 04-04-2009, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AfroSoul

Why or why not?

I can almost guarantee that I wouldn't but not because of anger or resentment.

1) A woman who is willing to cheat on me is undesirable. I wouldn't hold a grudge against any woman who did so or look down on her but her lack of respect for my feelings and our relationship is a turn-off. I could not have a relationship with a woman who was deceitful or dishonest.

2) Breaking up with her would give me some sense of power and control over the situation. It would help me to deal with the feelings of helplessness and grief that she's caused me.
I could forgive a woman who cheated on me but I wouldn't be interested in reconciliation. Many people confuse the two. Forced reconciliation is as unhealthy as holding a grudge is.

What about you? What do you think?

wow-

AfroSoul · 04-05-2009, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isi eri

wow-

Would you not feel grief if someone you cared about deceived you?

**Wendydoks** · 04-05-2009, 04:50 PM

lol...i feel u. i wud do the same with a dude dat cheats on me

seen · 04-05-2009, 05:14 PM

I don't think so- I can't stand dishonesty. I have left people for dishonesty and cheating is the highest form of dishonesty in a relationship. Good riddance to bad rhubbish. If I can exercise self control and stay committed I can and should expect the same from you.

@Afrosoul- I like the way you put it. I can forgive but not reconcile.

naija_pikin · 04-05-2009, 06:49 PM

In all honestly, I could.Why? Because sometimes the heart clouds good judgement, and sometimes good people make mistakes. It all depends on the circumstances involved.

However, I would probably caution someone never to test me on that, because I could just as easily decide that he's proved himself unworthy of my time. Forgiveness without reconciliation sounds good; better, even, than what the guilty party deserves.

NEPHEW · 04-07-2009, 06:27 PM

I have. I found myself being a slave to the past; it wasn't healthy for her neither was it for me. The truth is time really does not heal wounds, it is what you do with the time that heals.

**Omodudu** · 04-07-2009, 07:17 PM

naaa, dont think so

Busayomi · 04-08-2009, 04:19 PM

hell naw...sorry being dishonest doesnt turn me on, if you cheat once what stops your butt from doing it again? and again? and again? abeg...when its not like his the only one tryna wax this ass :P ...you cheat you get

Hardcore · 04-19-2009, 03:22 PM

We are Africans and it is often difficult to pack up and leave if you are married and have children. How many women really have that choice in a 'polygamous' culture when their own mothers lived through the same kind of 'network'?

Things are better now with women becoming more assertive and more independent. I guess it is a choice every woman or man would have to make for himself or herself.

Personally I believe the relationship will be strained for sure, with all the health hazards out there. I don't see myself sleeping with a guy I have caught cheating. But I would rather wait for the kids to be out of the house. If single, less complicated. You are more likely to "up and leave" without strings attached.

A very tough situation to be in. When I get to that bridge, I guess I would cross it at that point.

04-04-2009, 01:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
AfroSoul Registered User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Greater Toronto Area, Canada Posts: 1,156 Points: 10,237.85 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 10,237.85 Donate Rep Power: 363087	Would you take back a cheating partner? Why or why not? I can almost guarantee that I wouldn't but not because of anger or resentment. 1) A woman who is willing to cheat on me is undesirable. I wouldn't hold a grudge against any woman who did so or look down on her but her lack of respect for my feelings and our relationship is a turn-off. I could not have a relationship with a woman who was deceitful or dishonest. 2) Breaking up with her would give me some sense of power and control over the situation. It would help me to deal with the feelings of helplessness and grief that she's caused me. I could forgive a woman who cheated on me but I wouldn't be interested in reconciliation. Many people confuse the two. Forced reconciliation is as unhealthy as holding a grudge is. What about you? What do you think? __________________ " I am resolved, it is better to die then be a White man's slave"-Sengbe Pieh ( Joseph Cinque )

04-05-2009, 04:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
Wendydoks The Black Rose Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: "Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own".__Chinese Proverb Posts: 13,059 Points: 44,010.00 Bank: 38,246,978.82 Total Points: 38,290,988.82 Donate Rep Power: 21474876	lol...i feel u. i wud do the same with a dude dat cheats on me __________________ Res ipsa loquitur The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them with our own image - otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. Love comes to those who still hope, even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe, even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love, even though they've been hurt before.

04-07-2009, 06:27 PM	#7 (permalink)
NEPHEW Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Dullass, Tx Posts: 643 Points: 10,224.40 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 10,224.40 Donate Rep Power: 21474847	I have. I found myself being a slave to the past; it wasn't healthy for her neither was it for me. The truth is time really does not heal wounds, it is what you do with the time that heals. __________________ "Where there is no vision the people perish" Proverbs 29 v 18

04-07-2009, 07:17 PM	#8 (permalink)
Omodudu Eléyinjuégé ROHY Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 10,806 Points: 216,406.67 Bank: 228,115,447,383.06 Total Points: 228,115,663,789.73 Donate Rep Power: 21474867	naaa, dont think so __________________ Holler if you want to buy ad space on http://repnaijaartists.com/! No freebies o; money for hand, back for ground Ask me anything http://formspring.me/naijaamazon

04-19-2009, 03:22 PM	#10 (permalink)
Hardcore Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 37 Points: 2,203.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 2,203.00 Donate Rep Power: 0	We are Africans and it is often difficult to pack up and leave if you are married and have children. How many women really have that choice in a 'polygamous' culture when their own mothers lived through the same kind of 'network'? Things are better now with women becoming more assertive and more independent. I guess it is a choice every woman or man would have to make for himself or herself. Personally I believe the relationship will be strained for sure, with all the health hazards out there. I don't see myself sleeping with a guy I have caught cheating. But I would rather wait for the kids to be out of the house. If single, less complicated. You are more likely to "up and leave" without strings attached. A very tough situation to be in. When I get to that bridge, I guess I would cross it at that point. Last edited by Hardcore; 04-19-2009 at 03:28 PM..

04-05-2009, 05:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
seen Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: No Where Posts: 1,625 Points: 27,297.45 Bank: 34,337,963.70 Total Points: 34,365,261.15 Donate Rep Power: 3513670	I don't think so- I can't stand dishonesty. I have left people for dishonesty and cheating is the highest form of dishonesty in a relationship. Good riddance to bad rhubbish. If I can exercise self control and stay committed I can and should expect the same from you. @Afrosoul- I like the way you put it. I can forgive but not reconcile.

04-05-2009, 06:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
naija_pikin Femme Fatale Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dans tes rêves Posts: 29,829 Points: 0.00 Bank: 435,356,590,800.55 Total Points: 435,356,590,800.55 Donate Rep Power: 21474915	In all honestly, I could.Why? Because sometimes the heart clouds good judgement, and sometimes good people make mistakes. It all depends on the circumstances involved. However, I would probably caution someone never to test me on that, because I could just as easily decide that he's proved himself unworthy of my time. Forgiveness without reconciliation sounds good; better, even, than what the guilty party deserves.

04-08-2009, 04:19 PM	#9 (permalink)
Busayomi Registered User Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: stalk much? Posts: 229 Points: 4,810.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 4,810.00 Donate Rep Power: 641796	hell naw...sorry being dishonest doesnt turn me on, if you cheat once what stops your butt from doing it again? and again? and again? abeg...when its not like his the only one tryna wax this ass :P ...you cheat you get

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