Questions about Marriage & Naija Culture - What's the norm?

[Homiluv]

this heffa just cracked me the hell up. Olodo, try that mess and na morgue u go find ya hubby.

Originally Posted by bored

Did you fast? I did 3 months dry fasting. Anyway there is always 2009.

[NaijaBred]

warey! you know i can't miss a meal.

[bored]

[Chickram]

Originally Posted by Arokoyo

Naija man and woman. Newly weds, delivers a child.
Is it required or is it the norm that the 2 inlaws come for your first baby?
Is it the norm that one of the mothers must stay for at least 3 months when your first baby is born to help you?
Who stays? Or which one is more common, husband's mother or wife's mother?


___________
Note: This is not about me oh, they are just random questions that i always wonder about.
More questions to come. Feel free to ask or answer questions please. Share ur thoughts. Need to know some things.

from wat i think i recall. the girl's mom usually STAYS 4 wat the Igbos call "omugo" or "omugwo".....the dad's mom can visit or wateva. its basically the time 4 mother and daughter to bond and share mothering tips and ish. cute. lol..my mom will def. have alot of work cut out 4 her. she wil b doing all the work

[FIE]

Originally Posted by Arokoyo

Naija man and woman. Newly weds, delivers a child.
Is it required or is it the norm that the 2 inlaws come for your first baby?
Is it the norm that one of the mothers must stay for at least 3 months when your first baby is born to help you?
Who stays? Or which one is more common, husband's mother or wife's mother?


___________
Note: This is not about me oh, they are just random questions that i always wonder about.
More questions to come. Feel free to ask or answer questions please. Share ur thoughts. Need to know some things.

Whatever works for you. If your mom is alive then I say go with that. It is a little tricky with mother in laws. I can ask my mom to do things for me that I cannot ask my mother in law. If I need help I need someone who can actually help. I don't do tradition in situations like this

[Arokoyo]

Originally Posted by CSC

Answer #4

Please! No be by force o jare. Even if I got to be close with his sisters, abegi...I get plenty friends wey I don sabi before am. Make she feel honored with her Aso ebi role and let's keep it moving.

hi csc, thanks for ur input to all the questions.
do you think it'll create some bad energy if you don't invite them (one or two sisters/brothers) if they are in your age group to be bridemaid/groomsmen?

what have people done that you've seen so far?

[Arokoyo]

Question #7:
Let's say, your partner have taken you home to their folks officially to say they want to marry you. After you all that, and a bit of familiarity have been created between both families. Do you start calling his/her mom periodically? what do you say when you call. Any ice breaker ideas? Do you call his/her sibling/ waht do you say when you call...ice breaker ideas?

[Arokoyo]

Question #8:
Let's say you and your serious relationship partner, fiance, spouse or whatever serious stage yall in, have moved in together and both share a one bedroom apt or like there's limited bedrooms or no guest rooms for people to stay. You and ur partner are still young and are still managing yourselves till you settle down -- yall get the idea with most young naija couples.
So let's say his/her mom comes to visit. Do you pull out a couch for ur partner's mom to sleep on? or do you give up your only bedroom and you and ur partner sleep on the couch?
Or let's say you buy the air mattrass, do you place the air mattrass on the living room floor for them to sleep on, or do you give up ur bed and u and ur partner sleep on the air-mattrass in the living room?

What's the right thing to do...in the naija perspective.
__
Note: please excuse my typos and mistakes. i don't reread my posts and i type fast. sorry...pls don't laugh. i see some tabons in my previous posts, so don't remind me plix.

[CSC]

Originally Posted by Arokoyo

hi csc, thanks for ur input to all the questions.
do you think it'll create some bad energy if you don't invite them (one or two sisters/brothers) if they are in your age group to be bridemaid/groomsmen?

what have people done that you've seen so far?

Why should it though? They should be reasonable. I as the groom’s sister, would not feel slighted if the bride didn’t ask me to be one of her bridesmaids (if we were cool and all). Prior to meeting me, she might have her own sisters and close friends and abeg me sef no like too many people for bridal party. When you’re working with a number like 10 in total, 5 of each abeg make the groom’s sister no vex.

From what I've seen, it depends...

[Arokoyo]

Question 9:
Christmas comes knocking. You and ur fiance/spouse/serious partner or whatever stage where you've become familiar with your partner's relatives. You will be seeing them around this time, do you buy his/her younger siblings and mom/dad a christmas gift?

[Arokoyo]

Originally Posted by bored

Did you fast? I did 3 months dry fasting. Anyway there is always 2009.

how did i miss this??
bored....u have issues sha!!!

[CSC]

Originally Posted by Arokoyo

Question #7:
Let's say, your partner have taken you home to their folks officially to say they want to marry you. After you all that, and a bit of familiarity have been created between both families. Do you start calling his/her mom periodically? what do you say when you call. Any ice breaker ideas? Do you call his/her sibling/ waht do you say when you call...ice breaker ideas?

Answer #7:
Hmmm...maybe I'll start by calling once a month or on her birthday or something. I really can't answer this one, it depends on how we click. Is it instant or does she have to warm up to me? When that time comes, I go know.

[CSC]

Originally Posted by Arokoyo

Question #8:
Let's say you and your serious relationship partner, fiance, spouse or whatever serious stage yall in, have moved in together and both share a one bedroom apt or like there's limited bedrooms or no guest rooms for people to stay. You and ur partner are still young and are still managing yourselves till you settle down -- yall get the idea with most young naija couples.
So let's say his/her mom comes to visit. Do you pull out a couch for ur partner's mom to sleep on? or do you give up your only bedroom and you and ur partner sleep on the couch?
Or let's say you buy the air mattrass, do you place the air mattrass on the living room floor for them to sleep on, or do you give up ur bed and u and ur partner sleep on the air-mattrass in the living room?

What's the right thing to do...in the naija perspective.
__
Note: please excuse my typos and mistakes. i don't reread my posts and i type fast. sorry...pls don't laugh. i see some tabons in my previous posts, so don't remind me plix.

Answer #8
Please o! How can my parents or my in-laws come and me and hubby will be sleeping in the room while my/his parents are in the living room on the couch for that matter! Hubby and I will definitely give up our bed/airbed and move to the couch while the parents get the bed and the room.

[bored]

Originally Posted by Arokoyo

Question #8:
Let's say you and your serious relationship partner, fiance, spouse or whatever serious stage yall in, have moved in together and both share a one bedroom apt or like there's limited bedrooms or no guest rooms for people to stay. You and ur partner are still young and are still managing yourselves till you settle down -- yall get the idea with most young naija couples.
So let's say his/her mom comes to visit. Do you pull out a couch for ur partner's mom to sleep on? or do you give up your only bedroom and you and ur partner sleep on the couch?
Or let's say you buy the air mattrass, do you place the air mattrass on the living room floor for them to sleep on, or do you give up ur bed and u and ur partner sleep on the air-mattrass in the living room?

What's the right thing to do...in the naija perspective.
__
Note: please excuse my typos and mistakes. i don't reread my posts and i type fast. sorry...pls don't laugh. i see some tabons in my previous posts, so don't remind me plix.

[Naija POV] Worrahell are you doing living together if y'all aint married? If you try this runz, then his mom shouldnt know you live together. When she visits, move all your stuff out and go and stay in your friends house till she leaves (I know 2 couples doing this )
Now if you are married, yes o, better go and buy one of those nice Air mattresses that come up as high as a bed or a futon. You do not give up your marital bed for ANYONE. You just make sure she is as comfortable as you possibly can in whatever space you find for her. [/Naija POV]

[CSC]

Originally Posted by Arokoyo

Question 9:
Christmas comes knocking. You and ur fiance/spouse/serious partner or whatever stage where you've become familiar with your partner's relatives. You will be seeing them around this time, do you buy his/her younger siblings and mom/dad a christmas gift?

Answer #9.

Maybe. It depends...