i wrote a story the other day

Boss · 06-16-2008, 10:31 AM

about a married man in a bar and all

now this is based on a true story, adapted from one.

a buddy of mine, married, goes to clubs and bars with us...flirts with the girls and all.

the idea behind it is that he said he wants to know he can still get it or he's still as good as he was when he was single.

dunno if any of y'all feel the same when u are committed or such? Like the feeling to know u are desirable.

Now discussing this with a mutual acquaintace, a lady about to get married, she busted up with this thing that wut my buddy is doing qualifies as cheating.

Do u agree?

BlueBeauty · 06-17-2008, 12:22 AM

why r people always trying to tread the thin line? I won't calling cheating but it sure is playing with fire. Many a flirting situations have turned into relationships and affairs.
Some times its just better to abstain from these things. is ur buddy okay with his wife going to bars and flirting with men?

naija_pikin · 06-17-2008, 02:04 AM

I know some guys who stay flirting while in relationships. Speaking personally, I don't really like it, whether or not anything comes out of it. I guess there are different levels of flirting, but my husband should never engage in any kind of interaction with the opposite sex that he would not like to see me engage in with his peers.

I don't know whether I can technically clasify it as cheating..but I would see it on almost the same level.

Boss · 06-17-2008, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueBeauty

why r people always trying to tread the thin line? I won't calling cheating but it sure is playing with fire. Many a flirting situations have turned into relationships and affairs.
Some times its just better to abstain from these things. is ur buddy okay with his wife going to bars and flirting with men?

His wife doesnt go to bars and clubs, that wut he says...he says she doesnt like clubs/bars.

Moreover she takes care of their 2 kids, more or less a housewife.

In the 3 or so years he's been married...he has never cheated on his wife...despite the number of girls who have thrown themselves at him...

so i dont understand her argument esp as we just have our boys night out every now and then.

**manilah** · 06-17-2008, 08:16 AM

Does she know about this hobby?

I think he needs to grow up... he could be spending that extra free time with his 2 kids

OmoDelta · 06-17-2008, 05:26 PM

many women would be happy if their husbands are just doing mere flirting and not actually cheating..

Boss · 06-17-2008, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manilah

Does she know about this hobby?

I think he needs to grow up... he could be spending that extra free time with his 2 kids

We don't do it a whole lot as a group with him...but when we do, his wife knows. And usually in between bars/clubs, he'd call the house or depends on how close we are to the house he'd dip by there to see how things are.

He usually has his own curfew when he's to be back home...that's about 1am I believe.

BlueBeauty · 06-17-2008, 11:16 PM

Well, a guy's gotta have his own fun time with his buddies and if it as you've explained, the wife knows & trust her hubby so it's not a big deal. It's not something I'd be voltronin' about anyway. Its a healthy relationship when both parties trust each other enough and have the freedom to be oneself and not worry about 'the screamin nag' at home for every action taken. I guess it all depends on the guy's 'straying' capability, or is it capacity?.

naija_pikin · 06-18-2008, 01:03 AM

The fact that she knows he's out at bars and such does not mean that she's aware of his flirtatious habits.

However, to each his/her own. If she knows and she's cool with it, then so be it. I've been with a serial flirter before, and supposedly nothing came of it, but it never rubbed me the right way. And then again, we were not married. It would be disheartening for me to know that my husband is flirting on a level whereby things could easily lead elsewhere. I find the idea of it more than slightly disrespectful. There's a kind of flirting that can be very innocent or just for laughs, but the one that would have a married man being mistaken for a bachelor is not nearly fine by me.

monblaze · 06-18-2008, 01:12 AM

its isnt cheating but then again there's no such thing as innocent flirting...
can he flirt with other ladies when he's wife is around?
if he can't then he should not go around flirting...

SexyyyLady · 06-21-2008, 04:44 PM

the question he should ask himself is if he would be ok if she flirted with other guys too. She doesn't have to go to bars or clubs to find someone to flirt with. There's men everywhere who are always trying to talk to women: At the grocery stores, gas stations, the park,....For me I would not like it because I find it disrespectful.

crAzy Don · 09-15-2008, 01:29 AM

my boy and his wife are now separated.

He's now on the prowl, what was just mere flirting and taking numbers @ clubs with no cheating or doing anything is about to ( if not already) turn into full grown interaction with females.

Somehow, deep down in my heart, i feel sorta responsible.

SweetAma · 09-15-2008, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crAzy Don

my boy and his wife are now separated.

He's now on the prowl, what was just mere flirting and taking numbers @ clubs with no cheating or doing anything is about to ( if not already) turn into full grown interaction with females.

Somehow, deep down in my heart, i feel sorta responsible.

why??

naija_pikin · 09-15-2008, 06:18 AM

You have no responsibility in the matter. It's not as though he didn't know what the hell his trifflin' behind was doing.

Boss · 09-15-2008, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SweetAma

why??

We sort of encouraged him, he was hanging with the boys, we all single (well, relatively in terms of he's a married dude and we are not)...

Hanging out with us, he always felt like he had something to prove and was always like a wild dog on the prowl, now trust it was fun and all good(anything that made him and all of us happy/have fun) fake name, get numbers, call them, and tell us all about it (without him taking it any further) but i guess all these small girls (a few of them who actually know who he really is and know for a fact he's married) have now made him come out of the knot and actually go towards separating his wife.

I feel bad mainly because if I personally knew it was some dissatisfaction or lack of excitement in his married life, I may have acted differently (altho i did scare him teasingly a few times about child support/alimony and ending up like paul mccartney) but instead i encouraged him...kind of that macho shit we men are always on...and it might lead to him breaking up his marriage as he is currently in the process of separating. I felt like I was like encouraging an alcoholic by taking him to the bar.

Quote:

Originally Posted by naija_pikin

You have no responsibility in the matter. It's not as though he didn't know what the hell his trifflin' behind was doing.

Of course he did it on his own accord and I'm not boo-hooing that its all my fault...it's just i felt i didnt do my part as a good friend to discourage it.

Oh well...

06-16-2008, 10:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
Boss Oga Sir Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 29,320 Points: 1,110,358,347.39 Bank: 6,989,708,554.44 Total Points: 8,100,066,901.83 Donate Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 21347118	i wrote a story the other day about a married man in a bar and all now this is based on a true story, adapted from one. a buddy of mine, married, goes to clubs and bars with us...flirts with the girls and all. the idea behind it is that he said he wants to know he can still get it or he's still as good as he was when he was single. dunno if any of y'all feel the same when u are committed or such? Like the feeling to know u are desirable. Now discussing this with a mutual acquaintace, a lady about to get married, she busted up with this thing that wut my buddy is doing qualifies as cheating. Do u agree? __________________

06-17-2008, 12:22 AM	#2 (permalink)
BlueBeauty Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: oblivion Posts: 4,635 Points: 3,600.00 Bank: 1,283,790.94 Total Points: 1,287,390.95 Donate Rep Power: 5603134	why r people always trying to tread the thin line? I won't calling cheating but it sure is playing with fire. Many a flirting situations have turned into relationships and affairs. Some times its just better to abstain from these things. is ur buddy okay with his wife going to bars and flirting with men? __________________ As the river choose his path, though the river's proud and strong, He will choose the smoothest course _ That's why rivers live so long. They're steady~ as the steady beating drums.

06-17-2008, 05:26 PM	#6 (permalink)
OmoDelta Onorogun of Urhobo Land Correct Urhobo Man Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Your Nearest Bundaist Church Posts: 52,465 Points: 294,997.61 Bank: 42,945,663,267.20 Total Points: 42,945,958,264.81 Donate Rep Power: 21474953	many women would be happy if their husbands are just doing mere flirting and not actually cheating.. __________________ If mugu fall, guy man still go wak..

06-17-2008, 11:16 PM	#8 (permalink)
BlueBeauty Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: oblivion Posts: 4,635 Points: 3,600.00 Bank: 1,283,790.94 Total Points: 1,287,390.95 Donate Rep Power: 5603134	Well, a guy's gotta have his own fun time with his buddies and if it as you've explained, the wife knows & trust her hubby so it's not a big deal. It's not something I'd be voltronin' about anyway. Its a healthy relationship when both parties trust each other enough and have the freedom to be oneself and not worry about 'the screamin nag' at home for every action taken. I guess it all depends on the guy's 'straying' capability, or is it capacity?. __________________ As the river choose his path, though the river's proud and strong, He will choose the smoothest course _ That's why rivers live so long. They're steady~ as the steady beating drums. Last edited by BlueBeauty; 06-18-2008 at 12:26 AM..

06-18-2008, 01:12 AM	#10 (permalink)
monblaze Registered User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Lagos! Posts: 4,326 Points: 25,079.25 Bank: 762,134.91 Total Points: 787,214.16 Donate Rep Power: 21368018	its isnt cheating but then again there's no such thing as innocent flirting... can he flirt with other ladies when he's wife is around? if he can't then he should not go around flirting... __________________ @monblaze StillBaby of NR #OccupyNigeria, its your country, take it into your own hands... Lol, i crack me up!!! http://www.naijaryders.com/forums/24...-proposed.html

06-17-2008, 02:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
naija_pikin Femme Fatale Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dans tes rêves Posts: 29,829 Points: 0.00 Bank: 435,356,590,800.55 Total Points: 435,356,590,800.55 Donate Rep Power: 21474915	I know some guys who stay flirting while in relationships. Speaking personally, I don't really like it, whether or not anything comes out of it. I guess there are different levels of flirting, but my husband should never engage in any kind of interaction with the opposite sex that he would not like to see me engage in with his peers. I don't know whether I can technically clasify it as cheating..but I would see it on almost the same level.

06-18-2008, 01:03 AM	#9 (permalink)
naija_pikin Femme Fatale Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dans tes rêves Posts: 29,829 Points: 0.00 Bank: 435,356,590,800.55 Total Points: 435,356,590,800.55 Donate Rep Power: 21474915	The fact that she knows he's out at bars and such does not mean that she's aware of his flirtatious habits. However, to each his/her own. If she knows and she's cool with it, then so be it. I've been with a serial flirter before, and supposedly nothing came of it, but it never rubbed me the right way. And then again, we were not married. It would be disheartening for me to know that my husband is flirting on a level whereby things could easily lead elsewhere. I find the idea of it more than slightly disrespectful. There's a kind of flirting that can be very innocent or just for laughs, but the one that would have a married man being mistaken for a bachelor is not nearly fine by me.

06-21-2008, 04:44 PM	#11 (permalink)
SexyyyLady Registered User Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: TORONTO Posts: 122 Points: 4,142.50 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 4,142.50 Donate Rep Power: 0	the question he should ask himself is if he would be ok if she flirted with other guys too. She doesn't have to go to bars or clubs to find someone to flirt with. There's men everywhere who are always trying to talk to women: At the grocery stores, gas stations, the park,....For me I would not like it because I find it disrespectful.

09-15-2008, 01:29 AM	#12 (permalink)
crAzy Don The Nigerian Nightmare Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Somewhere...Dont know where exactly....But somewhere.....could be anywhere....definitely not everywhere...But somewhere. Posts: 18,247 Points: 120,035.00 Bank: 0.02 Total Points: 120,035.02 Donate Rep Power: 21474887	my boy and his wife are now separated. He's now on the prowl, what was just mere flirting and taking numbers @ clubs with no cheating or doing anything is about to ( if not already) turn into full grown interaction with females. Somehow, deep down in my heart, i feel sorta responsible. __________________ NR .com Characters Welcome "They coming for me, wan' see me fall U know my story, I been through it all Nights I felt like dyin’, but I ain’t cryin’ What didn’t kill me, made me strong as iron..."~Jay-Z Killin y'all niggaz on that lyrical shit Last edited by crAzy Don; 09-15-2008 at 01:32 AM..

09-15-2008, 06:18 AM	#14 (permalink)
naija_pikin Femme Fatale Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dans tes rêves Posts: 29,829 Points: 0.00 Bank: 435,356,590,800.55 Total Points: 435,356,590,800.55 Donate Rep Power: 21474915	You have no responsibility in the matter. It's not as though he didn't know what the hell his trifflin' behind was doing.

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