women,to be dead honest

[Boss]

is a man's financial status something u strongly consider when u are looking for a spouse? Do u look more at his career choice or his actual motivation and drive to suceed? Do u feel like u lookiing for something to back up on for financial security or is just something to measure the man?

I'm asking these questions coz a point or some theory I'm trying to put about. Just trying to make this an open-ended discussion free of bullshit and clique-ishness. Just ur frank, honest and well-thought out opinions...I'd appreciate it.

[pynkspyce]

You are asking the obvious. Money can come and go at any time, his ability and desire to make it go a long way.

[Boss]

Originally Posted by pynkspyce

You are asking the obvious. Money can come and go at any time, his ability and desire to make it go a long way.

U do agree that there are some women who think differently from the way you do. And also, it seems your concern in a relationship is that both of you are making money and I'd assume a lot of it. How much of a key role do you feel money plays in relationships...especially long-term relationships like marriage?

[Asabi]

Money definitely plays a big role in a marriage. In a spouse, I want someone who knows where he is going, who has goals, and is taking steps to get there. I don't need no lazy man o, he needs to be where he is supposed to be at that age...(I don't know yet). So yeah, money does go and come at anytime, but imma need someone with something concrete....

[crAzy Don]

Originally Posted by Asabi

Money definitely plays a big role in a marriage. In a spouse, I want someone who knows where he is going, who has goals, and is taking steps to get there. I don't need no lazy man o, he needs to be where he is supposed to be at that age...(I don't know yet). So yeah, money does go and come at anytime, but imma need someone with something concrete....

LOL..define what you mean by concrete?

[Asabi]

Originally Posted by crAzy Don

LOL..define what you mean by concrete?

Being in want is not good, especially when you have kidsss. Well, the wife also gotta have her ish together too.

[crAzy Don]

-Firstly Let me point out here like just like the woman, a man can decide "Hey, I'm tired of just working 9-5...lemme go back to school and study for another career"

He's free to do that in this country especially where the resources are available...as long as he has a wife tending to his responsibilities in the interim. Coz when women do the same thing, men act vice versa.

-I never knew at a certain age, there are some career goals some folks are meant to achieve. Apart from the basic things, let's just face facts that no 5 fingers are alike, neither will any "concrete" job remain concrete for too long. We got folks in Sprint, degree having 6-figure making dudes getting laid off for no reason...of course there's no financial secuirty in no job because there's a fundamental rule of life...Shit Happens.


-Some women sometimes choose to be victims and put themselves in stupid places...you have a degree...what's wrong with you being the person with higher income? I've seen a dozen homes with women making more not necessarily because of work of their own hands but by other things. Maybe they were more intelligent than their husbands and made it as doctors while their husbands are stockbrokers...maybe it's because she inherited stuff from her father...etc. A variety of reasons. However the respect is still there because she respects herself. She knows well that just because her husband makes less than she does doesnt make her any better or her wear the pants in the house. They'd still make decisions together and still do things together like any other couple, just in this case the woman has more of the monetary problem.

Now you may say it may hurt the man's ego...very true. We men have been taught to be the providers and women to be the sit at home, cook, clean and fuck and be basically our property. But times have changed, women have opinions now, degrees, careers and such. Men now have to learn how to cook and such coz that's how it is NOW. Times have changed. The only men who would be hurt is if the woman is not understanding of the man and actually is pretty disrespectful. Apart from that, every time I see a woman with the upperhand financially, she's respectful, not coz she knows how the ego of the man is, but because she understands that life can suddenly twist and when it's her own turn to be the financially lower one, the man will be treating her the same respect she gave him. Respect is reciprocal.

All in all, I'm pointing to how over-critical some women can be in terms of mate choice. I believe we as men have a more realistic hold on things than women do...of course we do things that are wrong in terms of what we look for in a woman sometimes but when u look relatively between both sexes...u'd find out the woman is more at fault and has a lesser hold on things. Now I'm just trying to make you ladies see that using the financial preferences.

[Asabi]

yeah...maybe I don't know everything yet sha.....I'm still learning

I just wrote the bit I think I know....

No beef/argument

[crAzy Don]

Originally Posted by Asabi

yeah...maybe I don't know everything yet sha.....I'm still learning

I just wrote the bit I think I know....

No beef/argument

Nah, we not arguing. Just each person expressing his/her opinion.

There's nothing wrong with u expressing urs. It's perfectly alright. 2 opinions may or may not be alike.

[pynkspyce]

actually, my concern doesnt have much to do with money. I like men that take intiative to get their lives in gear, and a lot of successful men are somewhat aggressive in their careers. There are different money levels, so money is just that, Money. Drive, a mans drive and ambition go a long way. If he is ambitious as in he goes after what he wants, then hell yeah he is a top candidate. In terms of Marriage, a man should be able to step up to the plate, not to say men dont fall short everynow and then, and the woman should be able to support the house, but lets face it money helps to eliminate the risk of a lot of marital problems

Originally Posted by Boss

U do agree that there are some women who think differently from the way you do. And also, it seems your concern in a relationship is that both of you are making money and I'd assume a lot of it. How much of a key role do you feel money plays in relationships...especially long-term relationships like marriage?

[pynkspyce]

right here, the thought process is juvenile. Who says income is just job based? A man's ability to be a man in my eyes are not contingent upon him making more than i make. The truth is some women get better head starts than men. I have dated men that make less than me, income amount is not much of an issue, it is how the man handle the entire situation. Likewise there are high income earners that dont have shit to show for it.
There is no age that determines what sucess it. To someone who has landed a city job, that might be sucess, to someone else it might be a G-4 ownership.

A woman that is with a man because of his paycheck alone, only has herself to blame however it turns out. No one else. Anybody can make money, it is the state of mind that determines who does and who doesnt create wealth.

Originally Posted by crAzy Don

-Firstly Let me point out here like just like the woman, a man can decide "Hey, I'm tired of just working 9-5...lemme go back to school and study for another career"

He's free to do that in this country especially where the resources are available...as long as he has a wife tending to his responsibilities in the interim. Coz when women do the same thing, men act vice versa.

-I never knew at a certain age, there are some career goals some folks are meant to achieve. Apart from the basic things, let's just face facts that no 5 fingers are alike, neither will any "concrete" job remain concrete for too long. We got folks in Sprint, degree having 6-figure making dudes getting laid off for no reason...of course there's no financial secuirty in no job because there's a fundamental rule of life...Shit Happens.


-Some women sometimes choose to be victims and put themselves in stupid places...you have a degree...what's wrong with you being the person with higher income? I've seen a dozen homes with women making more not necessarily because of work of their own hands but by other things. Maybe they were more intelligent than their husbands and made it as doctors while their husbands are stockbrokers...maybe it's because she inherited stuff from her father...etc. A variety of reasons. However the respect is still there because she respects herself. She knows well that just because her husband makes less than she does doesnt make her any better or her wear the pants in the house. They'd still make decisions together and still do things together like any other couple, just in this case the woman has more of the monetary problem.

Now you may say it may hurt the man's ego...very true. We men have been taught to be the providers and women to be the sit at home, cook, clean and fuck and be basically our property. But times have changed, women have opinions now, degrees, careers and such. Men now have to learn how to cook and such coz that's how it is NOW. Times have changed. The only men who would be hurt is if the woman is not understanding of the man and actually is pretty disrespectful. Apart from that, every time I see a woman with the upperhand financially, she's respectful, not coz she knows how the ego of the man is, but because she understands that life can suddenly twist and when it's her own turn to be the financially lower one, the man will be treating her the same respect she gave him. Respect is reciprocal.

All in all, I'm pointing to how over-critical some women can be in terms of mate choice. I believe we as men have a more realistic hold on things than women do...of course we do things that are wrong in terms of what we look for in a woman sometimes but when u look relatively between both sexes...u'd find out the woman is more at fault and has a lesser hold on things. Now I'm just trying to make you ladies see that using the financial preferences.

[Sooo Sweeet 3]

For me personally, no and yes... no in the sense that you don't have to be the richest man in the world, but yes you have to be able to support yourself and me (not that i need supporting financailly)... to be completely honest though, I would be with a guy that's striving to make more of his life, someone that is reaching for the future, and not just satisfied with getting by... he may not be the most financially secure man available, but as long as i know he working for something better, than i'm ok with it...