Why women love lies

Chxta · 11-12-2007, 01:30 PM

Why women love lies

By Kemi Dayo-Aiyetan

Not a few bachelors would deny this. Women not only love lies, they hardly fall in love with the truthful and loyal men.

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”Naturally, they fall in love with deceitful men, who jilt them for other women,” says Jack Hanson, a 34-year-old bachelor. According to the civil servant, he made up his mind to marry Jane Kasumu, a 25-year-old journalist. ”I told her about my family, my job and I made sure she knew my salary and the date of payment. I took her to my parents and everyone liked her. I thought I had met Miss Right but I was wrong.

”A few weeks to our formal introduction, she said she wanted to quit! I thought she was joking, but it was real. I begged, cried and did all I could to convince her of my love, but she was unbending. I was distraught, but life must go on. After six months, I saw Jane again and I knew she was not happy. The look on her face said it all. I wormed up to her and asked after her husband because she was pregnant. When she was about to narrate her tale, she started crying!

”According to her, she met a young man, who claimed to come from the United States of America in search of a wife. They got talking and he took her to his parents and a date was fixed. She had cancelled our introduction because she fixed same date for the American guy and his family! Though he came, his family members were not present with an excuse that his parents were too old to travel.

”He took photographs and a date was fixed for the wine-carrying. Jane later got pregnant for him and by the fourth month, he disappeared into thin air! She discovered that the guy was just a janitor in a factory in Ibadan! He was two years younger than her and actually bet with some of his friends, who had tried all, they could to get to her pants but to no avail. The guy must have sweet-talked her and she lapped up his lies like a puppy! Now, she did not get any marriage, neither did she get a man. She is going to be a single parent and I can‘t take her back.”

To Mr. Gbenga Ori, a relationship consultant in Abuja, women are generally gullible. ”They tend to believe all lies and get carried away with what they can see and not what their heads tell them,” he says.

For spinsters, who are on the search for mates, their case is worse. ”They become so desperate and believe anything they are told. For a woman in her late 20s, single and urged by the society to get married, she becomes desperate and she is at the mercy of any guy who comes her way, even if he is fraudulent. But I think a girl like Jane is stupid. Since there is a steady guy on ground, she should not have agreed to date the ‘American guy.‘ She must have done it out of greed and self aggrandizement. At 25 and a journalist, you would have expected more from her, but it‘s obvious that some women would not allow their head to work in certain situations, especially when they claim to be in love. She didn‘t take time to investigate, to know more about his life, his career and other aspirations. She even went the whole hog by getting pregnant.”

The gullibility of women? What do the women have to say? ”Forget the fact that spinsters are desperate. In Africa, the society is terrible on them. Your families are all over you, the colleagues at work mock your status, even the men who are supposed to propose would say you are too old,” says 35-year-old Martha Mba. A seasoned banker who is based in Abuja, she confesses, ”truthful and loyal men are not forthcoming. People have told me that my official and personal cars are a threat to a potential husband, but do I throw them away?

”Any man who is sure of himself will walk up to any lady of his choice and ask her out. The ones that are bold will do that and the unfortunate girl will discover later that he was a fake. Why can‘t the so-called loyal men be bold and come forth? I was supposed to marry Jim before I got this bank job and I had already gone to see his parents. I was a year into the job when I realised that he was not interested in calling me or visiting my new flat.

”This inferiority complex engulfed him and he saw everything I did as wrong. It was first my official car, then my flat and the kind of suits I wore. He believed they were too expensive and I told him that was the norm in banking. He became threatened and started withdrawing. I was not surprised when he quit the relationship by sending me a text message.

”Jim‘s attitude was like a blow and I was happy when Akeem came on the scene. He was the opposite-lively, jovial, and he never frowned at any luxury I exhibited. In fact, he urged me to be in the class of Lagos celebrities. He took me to high-profile parties, introduced me to celebrities and before I knew it, my face was coming up in almost every soft-sell magazine! I became the envy of my colleagues and everyone thought I would marry Akeem. Five months after we met, he proposed and we started making plans for the wedding. Our honeymoon was to be at the Bahamas and Miami.

”I was thrilled and thanked God for bringing this dashing young man. But it was short-lived. It was during our preparations that the anti-corruption agency arrested him that he was part of a group of fraudulent men, who duped people and printed fake naira notes. I had already helped facilitated a loan of millions of naira for him and he promised paying back after the wedding. I was in a mess! My car was sold, so were some shares and a plot of land to repay the loan and help him out of trouble. Now, that he is out, I discovered he was a jobless secondary school leaver, who had always nursed the dream of being a millionaire! He was an errand boy to those celebrities I saw him mingled with. In fact, he was their pimp and was milking others to get money and lived a false life before me. Was I distraught?”

Again, Ori counsels, ”The stereotypical African single lady, due to the economic hardship in the country, is materialistic and wants a rich suitor. She is interested in a man‘s achievements, his fleet of cars and posh flat. She is not interested in how he gets these as long as she doesn‘t see him carrying a gun, even if he does, she is blind to it. Every lady wants to live like a queen after marriage and so they are selective in their choices. Though there are some good ladies who go for less privileged men, many want rich men. That is the reason an errand boy could disguise to be a rich man and date not only a banker, but someone old enough to be his aunt. In your search for a mate, don‘t be moved by what you see. This is because those material things you see are ephemeral, they can‘t be forever! Moreover, a responsible, honest and loving man is not judged by his material possession. Rather, let the state of his heart. How sincere is he to you? Is he caring? These attributes are better than wealth accumulation.”

But how do these fake men get away with their lies with women? Segun Esho, a relationship consultant says, ”The natural man is very smart and patient. The patience of a man would make him stalk a lady and when he eventually gets her, he capitalises on her weaknesses, works more on her strengths and plays the smart rat in every place. There is no denying the fact that an average woman is weak emotionally. Even when she tries to be difficult, there is that streak of weakness in her that a smart man would take advantage of. If she is greedy, the man knows and capitalises on that. If she is selfish, he knows and if she is good-natured, he knows. There are some women who you would spend less than 30 minutes with and you can narrate the stories of their lives! They talk too much. There are some who build a false wall around themselves and boasts of what they don‘t have. They do this until a Mr. Fake utilises her attitude in defrauding her.”

To Mrs. Bamidele Emmanuel, many women love lies for two reasons: ”They are not sincere in their search for a mate. They are pretenders and utter what they don‘t believe. Searching for a mate means absolute sincerity with openness. A single lady could pretend to searching for Mr. Right. She tells everybody that her Mr. Right could be an average income earner, without a car and a good salary but in her heart, she desires a very rich bachelor or could be dating a rich married man, who supplies all the needs. On the other hand, she could be desirous of marriage, but with a wrong motive. So many women are desperate to have a ring on their hands and are not ready to face the hurdles of matrimony. They are not ready for a struggling lifestyle with any man and therefore lay their cards even before the unfortunate guy before the affair kicks off.

”The second reason we women love lies is basically because we don‘t take time to think. When a fraudulent guy walks up to you, his speeches and actions should tell you that something is amiss. Never allow desperation to becloud your reason faculties. When a man comes with out-of-this-world stories, think over it. When he proposes and you notice some funny steps he is taking, think properly and never take any speech or steps for granted. In fact, men with sweet-tongue could be sly and un-real. Be careful in your choice. Life is much more than eloquence or oratorical skills. It is more than dating

**Eraser** · 11-12-2007, 01:33 PM

i go read am after

Lady ACM · 11-12-2007, 03:31 PM

summary pls!

La Reine · 11-12-2007, 04:17 PM

Stupid rubbish.

nami · 11-12-2007, 07:03 PM

Too long to read ! blablaaaaaaaaa

boomilicious · 11-12-2007, 08:03 PM

This article says women basically get gilted because they want flashy things and they deserve what they get because they are dumb

I take offense to a lot of their condescending remarks.

ogologo · 11-12-2007, 10:28 PM

Jisos, i try read am finish but i no fit

naija_pikin · 11-13-2007, 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Reine

Stupid rubbish.

Agreed.

DJDonX · 11-13-2007, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naija_pikin

Agreed.

come on..
ur goin to honestly say there is no element of truth in d excerpt?

Smurfelina · 11-13-2007, 07:20 AM

Thread title really should have said men are liars and con-artist then the OP would make sense.

Bende · 11-13-2007, 07:33 AM

ugh, I wasted my time, energy and bandwith to read this bullshit

naija_pikin · 11-13-2007, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJDonX

come on..
ur goin to honestly say there is no element of truth in d excerpt?

There'll always be an element of truth to some form of BS or the other. So because some females are like that, it leads to a general diagnosis that's supposed to be applicable to the vast majority?

Capital Bull-shit.

Anubis · 11-13-2007, 03:20 PM

Folks, this article is not that long please. I have often wondered why people would take the time to read some thread with 300-500 replies on things banal but complain bitterly when presented with some composition of 10 paragraphs or less!

At any rate, this piece is nicely written and contains nuggets of commonsensical admonitions.

minglemoon · 11-13-2007, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anubis

Folks, this article is not that long please. I have often wondered why people would take the time to read some thread with 300-500 replies on things banal but complain bitterly when presented with some composition of 10 paragraphs or less!

At any rate, this piece is nicely written and contains nuggets of commonsensical admonitions.

can u run that by me in engrish pls?

EastWind · 11-13-2007, 04:49 PM

Women don't like lies. Women like bold, and adventurous men. It just happens to be that most liars are bold and adventurous meanwhile most nice guys are too relaxed and some quite boring. Women, Man or Dog, every animal on this earth appreciates the truth!

11-12-2007, 01:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
Chxta Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: 3rd rock from the Sun Posts: 8,541 Points: 9,667.30 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 9,667.30 Donate Rep Power: 21474863	Why women love lies Why women love lies By Kemi Dayo-Aiyetan Not a few bachelors would deny this. Women not only love lies, they hardly fall in love with the truthful and loyal men. File Lies advertisement ”Naturally, they fall in love with deceitful men, who jilt them for other women,” says Jack Hanson, a 34-year-old bachelor. According to the civil servant, he made up his mind to marry Jane Kasumu, a 25-year-old journalist. ”I told her about my family, my job and I made sure she knew my salary and the date of payment. I took her to my parents and everyone liked her. I thought I had met Miss Right but I was wrong. ”A few weeks to our formal introduction, she said she wanted to quit! I thought she was joking, but it was real. I begged, cried and did all I could to convince her of my love, but she was unbending. I was distraught, but life must go on. After six months, I saw Jane again and I knew she was not happy. The look on her face said it all. I wormed up to her and asked after her husband because she was pregnant. When she was about to narrate her tale, she started crying! ”According to her, she met a young man, who claimed to come from the United States of America in search of a wife. They got talking and he took her to his parents and a date was fixed. She had cancelled our introduction because she fixed same date for the American guy and his family! Though he came, his family members were not present with an excuse that his parents were too old to travel. ”He took photographs and a date was fixed for the wine-carrying. Jane later got pregnant for him and by the fourth month, he disappeared into thin air! She discovered that the guy was just a janitor in a factory in Ibadan! He was two years younger than her and actually bet with some of his friends, who had tried all, they could to get to her pants but to no avail. The guy must have sweet-talked her and she lapped up his lies like a puppy! Now, she did not get any marriage, neither did she get a man. She is going to be a single parent and I can‘t take her back.” To Mr. Gbenga Ori, a relationship consultant in Abuja, women are generally gullible. ”They tend to believe all lies and get carried away with what they can see and not what their heads tell them,” he says. For spinsters, who are on the search for mates, their case is worse. ”They become so desperate and believe anything they are told. For a woman in her late 20s, single and urged by the society to get married, she becomes desperate and she is at the mercy of any guy who comes her way, even if he is fraudulent. But I think a girl like Jane is stupid. Since there is a steady guy on ground, she should not have agreed to date the ‘American guy.‘ She must have done it out of greed and self aggrandizement. At 25 and a journalist, you would have expected more from her, but it‘s obvious that some women would not allow their head to work in certain situations, especially when they claim to be in love. She didn‘t take time to investigate, to know more about his life, his career and other aspirations. She even went the whole hog by getting pregnant.” The gullibility of women? What do the women have to say? ”Forget the fact that spinsters are desperate. In Africa, the society is terrible on them. Your families are all over you, the colleagues at work mock your status, even the men who are supposed to propose would say you are too old,” says 35-year-old Martha Mba. A seasoned banker who is based in Abuja, she confesses, ”truthful and loyal men are not forthcoming. People have told me that my official and personal cars are a threat to a potential husband, but do I throw them away? ”Any man who is sure of himself will walk up to any lady of his choice and ask her out. The ones that are bold will do that and the unfortunate girl will discover later that he was a fake. Why can‘t the so-called loyal men be bold and come forth? I was supposed to marry Jim before I got this bank job and I had already gone to see his parents. I was a year into the job when I realised that he was not interested in calling me or visiting my new flat. ”This inferiority complex engulfed him and he saw everything I did as wrong. It was first my official car, then my flat and the kind of suits I wore. He believed they were too expensive and I told him that was the norm in banking. He became threatened and started withdrawing. I was not surprised when he quit the relationship by sending me a text message. ”Jim‘s attitude was like a blow and I was happy when Akeem came on the scene. He was the opposite-lively, jovial, and he never frowned at any luxury I exhibited. In fact, he urged me to be in the class of Lagos celebrities. He took me to high-profile parties, introduced me to celebrities and before I knew it, my face was coming up in almost every soft-sell magazine! I became the envy of my colleagues and everyone thought I would marry Akeem. Five months after we met, he proposed and we started making plans for the wedding. Our honeymoon was to be at the Bahamas and Miami. ”I was thrilled and thanked God for bringing this dashing young man. But it was short-lived. It was during our preparations that the anti-corruption agency arrested him that he was part of a group of fraudulent men, who duped people and printed fake naira notes. I had already helped facilitated a loan of millions of naira for him and he promised paying back after the wedding. I was in a mess! My car was sold, so were some shares and a plot of land to repay the loan and help him out of trouble. Now, that he is out, I discovered he was a jobless secondary school leaver, who had always nursed the dream of being a millionaire! He was an errand boy to those celebrities I saw him mingled with. In fact, he was their pimp and was milking others to get money and lived a false life before me. Was I distraught?” Again, Ori counsels, ”The stereotypical African single lady, due to the economic hardship in the country, is materialistic and wants a rich suitor. She is interested in a man‘s achievements, his fleet of cars and posh flat. She is not interested in how he gets these as long as she doesn‘t see him carrying a gun, even if he does, she is blind to it. Every lady wants to live like a queen after marriage and so they are selective in their choices. Though there are some good ladies who go for less privileged men, many want rich men. That is the reason an errand boy could disguise to be a rich man and date not only a banker, but someone old enough to be his aunt. In your search for a mate, don‘t be moved by what you see. This is because those material things you see are ephemeral, they can‘t be forever! Moreover, a responsible, honest and loving man is not judged by his material possession. Rather, let the state of his heart. How sincere is he to you? Is he caring? These attributes are better than wealth accumulation.” But how do these fake men get away with their lies with women? Segun Esho, a relationship consultant says, ”The natural man is very smart and patient. The patience of a man would make him stalk a lady and when he eventually gets her, he capitalises on her weaknesses, works more on her strengths and plays the smart rat in every place. There is no denying the fact that an average woman is weak emotionally. Even when she tries to be difficult, there is that streak of weakness in her that a smart man would take advantage of. If she is greedy, the man knows and capitalises on that. If she is selfish, he knows and if she is good-natured, he knows. There are some women who you would spend less than 30 minutes with and you can narrate the stories of their lives! They talk too much. There are some who build a false wall around themselves and boasts of what they don‘t have. They do this until a Mr. Fake utilises her attitude in defrauding her.” To Mrs. Bamidele Emmanuel, many women love lies for two reasons: ”They are not sincere in their search for a mate. They are pretenders and utter what they don‘t believe. Searching for a mate means absolute sincerity with openness. A single lady could pretend to searching for Mr. Right. She tells everybody that her Mr. Right could be an average income earner, without a car and a good salary but in her heart, she desires a very rich bachelor or could be dating a rich married man, who supplies all the needs. On the other hand, she could be desirous of marriage, but with a wrong motive. So many women are desperate to have a ring on their hands and are not ready to face the hurdles of matrimony. They are not ready for a struggling lifestyle with any man and therefore lay their cards even before the unfortunate guy before the affair kicks off. ”The second reason we women love lies is basically because we don‘t take time to think. When a fraudulent guy walks up to you, his speeches and actions should tell you that something is amiss. Never allow desperation to becloud your reason faculties. When a man comes with out-of-this-world stories, think over it. When he proposes and you notice some funny steps he is taking, think properly and never take any speech or steps for granted. In fact, men with sweet-tongue could be sly and un-real. Be careful in your choice. Life is much more than eloquence or oratorical skills. It is more than dating __________________ I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

11-12-2007, 01:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
Eraser Mrs Boniface Princess of Mini Skirt Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Behind u Posts: 13,493 Points: 302,527.10 Bank: 32,274,606,399.61 Total Points: 32,274,908,926.72 Donate Rep Power: 21474872	i go read am after __________________ ya so bad to di bone cant leave you alone it's like yo inside my dreams a perfect fantasy

11-12-2007, 07:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
nami Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 948 Points: 7,858.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 7,858.00 Donate Rep Power: 455747	Too long to read ! blablaaaaaaaaa __________________ '' Everything will be ok in the end...if its not...then its not the end'' Friendship often ends in love;but love in friendship -- never. People who have the last word should've quit sooner. The best proof of love is trust.

11-12-2007, 08:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
boomilicious Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 483 Points: 1,004.90 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 1,004.90 Donate Rep Power: 95	This article says women basically get gilted because they want flashy things and they deserve what they get because they are dumb I take offense to a lot of their condescending remarks. __________________ When you are true to yourself it is difficult for others to decieve to you.

11-12-2007, 10:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
ogologo Registered User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Warehouse 13 Posts: 12,537 Points: 360,280.00 Bank: 775,331,694.79 Total Points: 775,691,974.79 Donate Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 21474883	Jisos, i try read am finish but i no fit __________________

11-13-2007, 07:20 AM	#10 (permalink)
Smurfelina Registered User Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Mushroom Village Posts: 2,505 Points: 300.17 Bank: 4,148,959,092.23 Total Points: 4,148,959,392.40 Donate Rep Power: 21474851	Thread title really should have said men are liars and con-artist then the OP would make sense.

11-13-2007, 03:20 PM	#13 (permalink)
Anubis Custos Mortui Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Necropolis Posts: 622 Points: 2,100.00 Bank: 105,914.21 Total Points: 108,014.21 Donate Rep Power: 812577	Folks, this article is not that long please. I have often wondered why people would take the time to read some thread with 300-500 replies on things banal but complain bitterly when presented with some composition of 10 paragraphs or less! At any rate, this piece is nicely written and contains nuggets of commonsensical admonitions. __________________ .....to the depths! Mors ultima linea rerum est. For every solution there is a problem.

11-13-2007, 04:49 PM	#15 (permalink)
EastWind Registered User Join Date: May 2003 Location: United States Posts: 706 Points: 7,308.55 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 7,308.55 Donate Rep Power: 1724015	Women don't like lies. Women like bold, and adventurous men. It just happens to be that most liars are bold and adventurous meanwhile most nice guys are too relaxed and some quite boring. Women, Man or Dog, every animal on this earth appreciates the truth! __________________ Silent Wind From The East. Show me a Lesbian and I will show you a smart woman!

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