Looking for love

[tonibertha]

Dear Abi,

I broke up with my last boyfriend three years ago, just before i moved to the United Kingdom. Since then, I haven't been in a serious relationship because I haven't met any good guys. I'm getting a bit worried because i live alone, and because i've just moved to a tiny white town in UK by myself, I don't get to go anywhere.

Do you have any suggestions as to how i can get to meet serious-minded Nigerian guys. I really would like to settle down

P.S: i live in a very small, all-white town becos of work.

:frustated

[Nappy Chick]

Start making friends with the Nigerian folks who live near your town. You can also make friends with your white workers and stuff. You don't know if THEY know any Nigerians. It's time to broaden up your horizons a bit. Are you an introvert or extrovert? What kind of activities do you like to do?? Are you okay doing certain activities alone??? These kind of questions would determine the answers that Dear Abi would give you... I was just putting in my two cents

[dlbonano]

Is it compulsory u gt 2 be with a nigerian, what abt others they be goat?

[Trespass]

*smh*

Originally Posted by tonibertha

Dear Abi,

I broke up with my last boyfriend three years ago, just before i moved to the United Kingdom. Since then, I haven't been in a serious relationship because I haven't met any good guys. I'm getting a bit worried because i live alone, and because i've just moved to a tiny white town in UK by myself, I don't get to go anywhere.

Do you have any suggestions as to how i can get to meet serious-minded Nigerian guys. I really would like to settle down

P.S: i live in a very small, all-white town becos of work.

:frustated

Dear Toni,

As a woman who prefers Nigerian men as well, I understand. However, you might want to broaden your outlook. Keep an eye out for fellow Africans, if you want to stay as close to your roots as possible.

Now as for meeting Nigerian men, I would start out by finding the nearest Nigerian church (assuming you're a christian. I'm not sure how muslims practice their faith). More often than not, there are more than enough Nigerian guys in those churches eagerly waiting for the right woman to join the congregation. And if not that, the members of the church will know other Nigerians in the area and you can branch out.

Either ways, you need to put yourself out there, because nobody will find you if you're just sitting down at home. I don't think you should go out with the express purpose of finding a man (desperation is oh-so-sad). Make sure you're going out to find and make new friends first. Eventually, I believe you'll meet someone.

[Baby Dee]

Originally Posted by Mzz Nita

Dear Toni,

As a woman who prefers Nigerian men as well, I understand. However, you might want to broaden your outlook. Keep an eye out for fellow Africans, if you want to stay as close to your roots as possible.

Now as for meeting Nigerian men, I would start out by finding the nearest Nigerian church (assuming you're a christian. I'm not sure how muslims practice their faith). More often than not, there are more than enough Nigerian guys in those churches eagerly waiting for the right woman to join the congregation. And if not that, the members of the church will know other Nigerians in the area and you can branch out.

Either ways, you need to put yourself out there, because nobody will find you if you're just sitting down at home. I don't think you should go out with the express purpose of finding a man (desperation is oh-so-sad). Make sure you're going out to find and make new friends first. Eventually, I believe you'll meet someone.

I totally agree with Mzz Nita...(Mzz Nita...u should be an agony aunt)....well...dat's d truth...u 'd hardly meet any1 by staying indoors...n try to visit naija as soon as u can...ur man may be waiting 4 u there...

[crAzy Don]

Originally Posted by tonibertha

Dear Abi,

I broke up with my last boyfriend three years ago, just before i moved to the United Kingdom. Since then, I haven't been in a serious relationship because I haven't met any good guys. I'm getting a bit worried because i live alone, and because i've just moved to a tiny white town in UK by myself, I don't get to go anywhere.

Do you have any suggestions as to how i can get to meet serious-minded Nigerian guys. I really would like to settle down

P.S: i live in a very small, all-white town becos of work.

:frustated

It would have helped more if I knew what your age range was and what's your profession? A working woman or a student? But here's my advice nevertheless.

It always amuses me how females (especially nigerian ones) desperately seek companionship after a given while...for the most part of it, it distracts them and predisposes them to make wrong choices as per partners are concerned...some jumping at any attractive man that professes his "love" for them,uses them and leaves them heart-broken and vengeful...but I digress.

There are single mothers I know who have lived for almost 10 years without even thinking a bit about their relative loneliness because they FOCUSED on their careers and raising their children up properly. you should do the same...FOCUS.

Focus on what is more important to you i.e improving yourself, if you are a career woman, settle your mind on your career,if you are a student...get busy with school-work.

Self-improvement is the key term here...you might end up being a desperate love-searching wreck if you don't redirect your attention...no one wants to have a long-term relationship with a wreck (at least I don't)

While on the road to self-improvement, you should also be more outgoing and social a...to fill in the social void...nd keep true to yourself while at that.You would definitely find someone of your type if you follow this path.

As per restricting your options to just nigerian men, I can vouche for myself and some of my nigerian brothers...however, I feel you should expand your criteria for a spouse. I would advise you look more at personalities and compatible beliefs rather than culture, race, etc...but your preference is your decision at the end of the day

Good luck.

~Don

[eveseh]

Originally Posted by tonibertha

Dear Abi,

I broke up with my last boyfriend three years ago, just before i moved to the United Kingdom. Since then, I haven't been in a serious relationship because I haven't met any good guys. I'm getting a bit worried because i live alone, and because i've just moved to a tiny white town in UK by myself, I don't get to go anywhere.

Do you have any suggestions as to how i can get to meet serious-minded Nigerian guys. I really would like to settle down

P.S: i live in a very small, all-white town becos of work.

:frustated

i wish u the best

[tonibertha]

Thanks everyone. i really appreciate your advice and i'd try to put it into practice. As CrazyDon said, i really should try to develop myself as a person and as a spouse (time to start practising all thsoe recipes!). Thanks

[Ebony-T]

Originally Posted by tonibertha

Dear Abi,

I broke up with my last boyfriend three years ago, just before i moved to the United Kingdom. Since then, I haven't been in a serious relationship because I haven't met any good guys. I'm getting a bit worried because i live alone, and because i've just moved to a tiny white town in UK by myself, I don't get to go anywhere.

Do you have any suggestions as to how i can get to meet serious-minded Nigerian guys. I really would like to settle down

P.S: i live in a very small, all-white town becos of work.

:frustated

wot part of the uk u at at? if you have any frenz in london go out wif them there and start to build ur connections from there

also seeing as ur in a tiny town, ur guna have to broaden ur type in guys coz the saying 'beggars can't be choosers' really comes to my head right now. im not saying u should settle for any tom, dick and harry but im saying that white guys aint all bad boo.

[Ebony-T]

why r u gettin negged toni bertha?

[niajersey girl]

hang in there. I'm in the same boat as you. I am 25 and live by myself in NJ. I try to go out every weekend not necessarily looking for anyone. Just to have fun. I'm meeting a lot of people but no one that interests me quite yet in that way. I'm not giving up though.

[Nappy Chick]

Originally Posted by niajersey girl

hang in there. I'm in the same boat as you. I am 25 and live by myself in NJ. I try to go out every weekend not necessarily looking for anyone. Just to have fun. I'm meeting a lot of people but no one that interests me quite yet in that way. I'm not giving up though.

Where in NJ do you live?? Do you come to NYC a lot?

[obolewu]

Originally Posted by tonibertha

Dear Abi,

I broke up with my last boyfriend three years ago, just before i moved to the United Kingdom. Since then, I haven't been in a serious relationship because I haven't met any good guys. I'm getting a bit worried because i live alone, and because i've just moved to a tiny white town in UK by myself, I don't get to go anywhere.

Do you have any suggestions as to how i can get to meet serious-minded Nigerian guys. I really would like to settle down

P.S: i live in a very small, all-white town becos of work.

:frustated

To sey na Yanki U dey I for hook U up wiff my uncle wey dey drive Cabby for Delaware
on a serious note though one of the easiest ways to find out 'serious minded' people is to mingle with Nigerian WOMEN who know some of these folks especially married Nigerian women who may have husbands that invite their single friends to stuff.Folks who wont waive off family type events as 'bullshit' have the tendency to be a little bit more serious than those who only find fun in clubs

[raul o.o.u]

Originally Posted by obolewu

To sey na Yanki U dey I for hook U up wiff my uncle wey dey drive Cabby for Delaware
on a serious note though one of the easiest ways to find out 'serious minded' people is to mingle with Nigerian WOMEN who know some of these folks especially married Nigerian women who may have husbands that invite their single friends to stuff.Folks who wont waive off family type events as 'bullshit' have the tendency to be a little bit more serious than those who only find fun in clubs

e be like say u nkwo no enyting u yanky u dey fine boynfrend try to come back home.
by raul o.o.u