TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE

[Sophia]

Can you please help narrate how it is in your village….mine coming up shortly

if you have pictures too that will help

[Sophia]

by the way in my village it is called igba nkwu(Anambra dialect) or ikpo nwanyi(umuahia dialect)

[Sophia]

y'all are not fun but let me start this series sha


IKPO NWANYI/IGBA NKWU NWANYI/ILU NWANYI

so boy meets girl, both agreed to tie the 'nut'(ITK's this is a joke)
so the boy goes to his parents then the parents will have to come to the family but not directly. In my own village we believe that marriage is fragile so you approach it differently

1st you get onye mbawu(witness) this person will serve as the groom's agent...it is an insult for the groom to approach the parents of the bride directly....ugwu bu nkwi nkwi(respect is reciprocal). In most cases this is an elder in the bride's family and from the groom's family. So both sides needs agents to represent them, must be a fan of both too
then this agent will accompany them to the bride's house...also make sure ur agent is knowledgeable abt the customs and very good in using and understanding proverbs...this is very critical(my cousin's agent fucked it up for him)

will contd

[Sophia]

any wayz, there are certain villages that you may want to think twice b4 approaching their chics due to high dowry and requirements...i think Ngwa is one of them

[Nappy Chick]

Originally Posted by Sophia

any wayz, there are certain villages that you may want to think twice b4 approaching their chics due to high dowry and requirements...i think Ngwa is one of them

Not my village or even my mum's. Delta Ibos are notorious for their cheap bride prices Anyhow, make I ask my mama, I will come back with mine

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by Nappy Chick

Not my village or even my mum's. Delta Ibos are notorious for their cheap bride prices Anyhow, make I ask my mama, I will come back with mine

betta person thank you

yeah I need to get more details from my mom or sisters

i think u just described ikwu aka (to knock) not igba nkwu (the actual trad marriage)

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by askimoli

i think u just described ikwu aka (to knock) not igba nkwu (the actual trad marriage)

we can't jump into the actual part without discussing the process....ITK no go kill una o

Originally Posted by Sophia

we can't jump into the actual part without discussing the process....ITK no go kill una o

*waka*

in ur place do they do the whole "onwere oroma chara acha mhuru na begi m'choro ighota"? cause where i'm from they do it and that shit is just retarded

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by askimoli

in ur place do they do the whole "onwere oroma chara acha mhuru na begi m'choro ighota"? cause where i'm from they do it and that shit is just retarded

yes dey do...that is wat makes it much fun to his them relate with proverbs

Originally Posted by Sophia

yes dey do...that is wat makes it much fun to his them relate with proverbs

proverbs ko idiom ni, that shit is funny as hell

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by askimoli

proverbs ko idiom ni, that shit is funny as hell

buhahahhahaha, u crazy

[Lefty]

The Urhobo Marriage Process.

The marriage ceremony follows the meeting of both families. Both families would meet at the bride’s home. An advance notice is given to the bride`s family for the visit. On the said day, the groom’s family will arrive at the bride’s home. First the bride’s family will welcome them. Drinks and kola nuts supported with some money will be offered to the visiting family, as is customary in Urhobo tradition. A spokesman for the bride’s family will make the presentation of the drinks and kola nuts with the money to the visiting family. The visitor’s spokesman will accept the presentation on behalf of the groom’s family. After this initial customary entertainment, the visitors are asked the purpose of their visit.

The visitors would inform the bride’s family that they have come to marry their daughter for their son, who may or may not be present at this protocol.

If the bride’s family accepts this explanation, they would go through a process of the identification of the bride they wish to marry. The visitors would be told that the family has many daughters; as such, its members do not know which of their daughters their son would like to marry. The bride’s family would then bring out a girl who is not the bride, and parade this girl in front of the groom’s family. The groom would reject this girl saying that she was not the one he wants. This formality would be repeated about three times. Each time a girl is paraded and rejected, the groom’s family would be asked to pay the rejected girl some money. Finally, the bride is presented to the groom to confirm the true identity of his chosen bride.

Once this process is concluded, the bride’s consent would then be obtained. That is, she will be asked if she is willing to marry the groom. The family of the bride can only receive the dowry if she consents to marry the groom. This process is only a formality on the day because in most cases, the dowry amount and all arrangements would normally have been agreed upon. That is, both families would have reached some understanding. The groom or his family would pay a dowry to the bride’s family. The dowry is the price money paid to the bride’s family on account of the bride.

It is worth mentioning here that, it is customary that before the stage of pouring the libation is reached, that the potential husband and his family would pay several visits to the family of the bride to be. The purpose of these visits is to negotiate and to meet certain pre-marriage requirements stipulated by the bride’s family. For example: the dowry would be negotiated and agreed beforehand; the bride’s uncles, aunts and the bride’s father and mother would be bought several gift items, such as walking stick and hat, etc, for the bride’s father; wrapper, tobacco, etc., for her mother, and other items for her uncles, aunts, and other relatives.

Upon acceptance of the dowry, the bride’s father pours a libation. The libation is poured using a native gin (ogogoro) or may be represented by Gordon gin and kola nuts. The bride’s father offers a prayer / blessing for the couple. At this point, the bride sits on the husband’s lap. The blessed drink is handed to the husband who drinks first; he then hands it to his wife to drink. The wife would drink and pass it back to her husband to finish, as a sign of respect. Then only are they declared husband and wife. Both family members present at the ceremony, would then shower the couple with money as gifts.

http://www.urhobo.kinsfolk.com/Confe...ruvbetere.html

[tigresss]

Efik people also demand very cheap bride price – but I runno d process yet - I ld find out